Hello, just started Buspirone, and looking for..

some positive reinforcement...

I've tried many SSRI, and well, I don't do good on them unfortunately. I don't do good with ingesting anything chemical now because of what happened to me 2 years ago, but I need help and I'm giving this medication a try.

I am worried about it. I am looking at reviews and its all mixed and I know each person reacts different.

I want it to work because I can't let this anxiety ruin my life any more. It's already taken 2 years of it and I've had enough. I want to live. I want to get a job. I want to be able to do things that is physically intense. The muscle pain and breathing issues that are chronic for me is very debilitating, and I just hope this med will to the trick and relax me, help me breathe normally, and just help me.

How are you guys doing on it? I'm on 5 mg 2x a day. I'm very sensitive to medication, so he started very light. I for sure felt it when I took it earlier today and it did make me nervous and jeez are my jaw muscles hurting and giving me ear discomfort.

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Originally Posted by js1803

I've tried many SSRI, and well, I don't do good on them unfortunately.

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SSRIs are not the only antidepressants even if some doctors seem to think they are. They are arguably not even the most effective.

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I don't do good with ingesting anything chemical now because of what happened to me 2 years ago,

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Do you mean the problems you has quitting Xanax, or something else?

Well, I did that gene test and for me, not many meds will work according to the results. Pristiq, which was an SNRI, was in the green, so I tried that, but it gave me more energy and I couldn't stop moving.. I've got enough energy, so I had to quit that.

Well, 2 years ago, I had an event that made me think I was going to die, and I was given benzo's to calm me down, then xanax for .25 for nearly a month. I quit it because it wasn't helping and didn't want to get addicted to anything.

When I quit it, my life became hell and full of pain and panic attacks and would stop breathing at night. It was torturous and it's lasted for a very very long time and still lasts to this day, but not as severe as it was 2 years ago.. Doctors said I was going through something else and it wasn't the xanax..

So, when i quit the xanax, i was extremely hypersensitive and had bad reactions to anything i took because i could feel it, ya know?

So yea, I'm more in control of my mind now, but the tenseness isn't going away because everytime I go to sleep, I wake up like I just worked out, in pain, every day. This morning, same thing, was hurting pretty bad this morning.

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Originally Posted by js1803

Well, I did that gene test and for me, not many meds will work according to the results.

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I'm not convinced these tests are worthwhile. They may prove useful in the future as understanding grows about how to interpret the results, but at this stage in their development genetic tests, and especially those on serotonin transporter (SERT, aka 5-HTT) alles, are mostly useless, imho, see: Pharmacogenetics of Antidepressant Drugs in Depression (Medscape article, free registration required to view); Kang HJ, 2016; Biernacka JM, 2015; Andre K, 2015; Howland RH, 2014; Crawford AA, 2013; Taylor MJ, 2010); Are genetic mental health tests causing more harm than good?.

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It was torturous and it's lasted for a very very long time and still lasts to this day, but not as severe as it was 2 years ago. Doctors said I was going through something else and it wasn't the xanax.

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I'm not aware of any mechanism which can explain prolonged withdrawal syndromes as chemical/physical issues. They are likely to be mostly psychological. Which isn't to dismiss them. They are as real as any other stress condition, but they need to be addressed for what they are.

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So, when i quit the xanax, i was extremely hypersensitive and had bad reactions to anything i took because i could feel it, ya know?

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Yes, I understand, but this supports my belief this is a psychological rather than chemical/physical.

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So yea, I'm more in control of my mind now, but the tenseness isn't going away because everytime I go to sleep, I wake up like I just worked out, in pain, every day. This morning, same thing, was hurting pretty bad this morning.

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You need to get stress under control. Antidepressants can do that given half a chance, but so can the cognitive, behavioral, or mindfulness therapies and they might be a better option if they are available given your aversion to meds.

I dunno, I think I'm on my 5th dose and feeling very depressed to an unbearable amount.

I don't trust it.

I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of withdrawal. I'm afraid I'll be dependent on it. I don't feel in control.

I just feel so messed up.

I've tried many anti-depressants and I just can't last on them. I can't do the full 2 month trial period like they say to do.

I'm already regretting taking it because my therapist didn't agree with it and prefered i stick to vistiril and I felt a little more comfortable taking vistiril because its not addictive, but it made me so tired and miserable and I would still wake up in actually worse pain with muscle tenseness and feel groggy.

Even this burspar is making me tired and its making my emotions be everywhere again and I just got off an SSRI 2 weeks ago and had to endure that withdrawal, but I'm just trying to beat this pain of anxiety that just wont go away because i want to move forward but i cant.

Its just been hell every time I try an SSRI. I've tried Pristiq, Lexapro, Zoloft, Viibryd, Trintillix and I've had to quit these and endure the withdrawal only to go back from being horrible to basically a little less horrible. and one thing that doesnt change is the breathing issue. I just cant freakin breathe. and I guess its psychological because I can breath and I am receiving 99% oxygen to the blood, but my stomach tells me otherwise and drives me crazy because I can feel it and I worry that it maybe because that I can't calm down because I can't bare reality.

Even now on the buspar theres things thats not going away still i know its only been 2 days. I dont know. I'm just having a really bad time right now. Now that i Look back on today, I was tired, didn't want to eat, I was obsessing over something that really just kept me obsessing over it. I don't trust this medication that alters the brain chemistry.

I want to throw it away. If I wake up in pain again in the morning, I think I might and just try the vistiril again.

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Originally Posted by js1803

I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of withdrawal. I'm afraid I'll be dependent on it. I don't feel in control.

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Unfortunately, because your mind has become trapped into this way of thinking it will colour your reaction to every med you try. Many of the side-effects you're experiencing may be being generated by your anxious mind and not the meds. Unless you can break out of this mindset you're not going to get anywhere. Is your therapist working on this? S/he should be, imho.

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I'm already regretting taking it because my therapist didn't agree with it and prefered i stick to vistiril and I felt a little more comfortable taking vistiril because its not addictive, but it made me so tired and miserable

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Your therapist wants you to continue taking a drug which makes you "tired and miserable" and has you waking up in "worse pain with muscle tenseness and feel groggy"? Seruiously!? And what qualifies him/her to make that judgment? BTW-buspar is no more 'addictive' than Vistaril.

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Its just been hell every time I try an SSRI. I've tried Pristiq, Lexapro, Zoloft, Viibryd, Trintillix

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SSRIs are not the only antidepressants. Maybe a norepinephrine, aka noradrenaline reuptake inhibitor would suit you better. The TCAs desipramine (Norpramin) and nortriptyline (Pamelor) would be a good choices with a slight leaning to desipramine because it usually has a marginally better side-effects profile. Both are often prescribed for nerve and chronic pain, but are also very effective anti anxiety and anti depressive meds. The usual starting dose for both is 75mg/day, but ultra low dose 10mg tablets are available and that would probably be your best starting dose as you're unlikely to experience significant side-effects at such a low dose. Just keep increasing it by 10mg every week or so.

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I don't trust this medication that alters the brain chemistry.

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They all do. So does aspirin.

Hey, thank you for the information.

Therapist suggested I try a lower dose of vistaril because the psych gave me 25mg.

My therapist basically told me that he didn't know how to help me and that talk therapy wasn't going to work and suggested that I try EMD, but I can't find anyone that accepts my state insurance that specializes in this, but I'm going to lose that probably this month because I haven't worked and not filed my taxes.

I don't do good with anything I ingest because of what happened to me. I get anxiety if I take other, no medication like things. Vitamins, cant take those, fish oil = anxiety. I can have a p-attack sometimes in my sleep if i take benadril. Sugar can give me anxiety and does. I don't drink sodas anymore.

It's just hard for me to take things. I can't help it. I know I can't be like that and I know some meds are good, but I have anxiety taking things and I can't help it. It's because of what happened and how I felt everything and still am sensitive. Like heartburn. I'm afraid to eat certain foods because I feel pain down my throat that isn't there. I'm not supposed to feel pain there, but I do.

Anyway, I get mixed reports with buspar. Some say it's less addictive. Others say its not addictive. I gave it a shot. It made me worse. Could be me, could be the drug, who knows.

I don't have nerve pain. It's muscle pain because I work out in my sleep. Tensed up, biting my teeth, wake up every morning tense.

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Originally Posted by js1803

It's just hard for me to take things. I can't help it. I know I can't be like that and I know some meds are good, but I have anxiety taking things and I can't help it.

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It's a pity you're in America. In most countries with universal health care systems you could be admitted to hospital to be stabilized on a med. From personal experience the security of being in an environment where expert help is always available makes it much easier to cope with pill-phobia.

I'm trying to make the vistaril to work. I just woke up in a lot of (i hate the word), so i just took a vistaril because i just can take the tense headache.

I'm very unhappy that this anxiety is constant 24/7 for 2 years+. Every day is a struggle though out the entire day. If only I could go to sleep and feel refreshed, but its just nightmares and pain.

I just had a dream that i was cured, breathing normally, no anxiety, just the basic functions of life and i just wish i could go back to the normal function of life.

Nothing is working.

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Originally Posted by js1803

I just had a dream that i was cured, breathing normally, no anxiety, just the basic functions of life and i just wish i could go back to the normal function of life.

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There isn't necessarily a cure. For some these are lifelong disorders which wax and wane, but never completely go away, although long remissions do frequently occur. However, both meds and the cognitive and/or behavioural (CBT, REBT, etc), or mindfulness therapies can be very effective treatments allowing us to lead 'normal', fulfilling lives. Unfortunately, neither produce quick results and they can make things worse in the beginning, especially the meds. :weep: