Feel so alone & worn down by these palpitations

Hi
I'm not really looking for advice, there isn't a lot I don't know about palpitations after suffering from them for years! I have had a bad day with them today & I guess I'm just feeling alone & like no-one understands what it's like to deal with these. I have done a lot of work on my anxiety over the years & know I have come a long way but I truly believe that if it wasn't for the fear of having them while out & about I really wouldn't have anxiety anymore! I can cope with the odd flutter, the runs of irregular beats that give me a head rush & isolated ectopics but what I really struggle with is when I get them I can feel my heart beating irregularly, my stomach seems to tighten & I find myself breathing high up in my chest which makes them worse. I try so hard to breathe small, low & slow etc but it's so hard to then turn down the fear. I was walking in town today, had just had breakfast & felt a bit bloated so possibly vagus nerve stuff but every time I walked my heart felt like it was beating harder & irregularly-I think they were ectopics every 3-4 beats, of course my anxiety made it worse. My son was with me which helped but I just walked slowly & tried to control my breathing but I now feel so defeated & worn down by it. I also get them if I'm talking a lot especially if I have to speak loudly in a noisy room, I think it's like a disordered breathing thing but I don't understand why excessive talking triggers them.
I am currently seeing a therapist for my anxiety issues as it had caused a return of the chronic fatigue I had years ago & I am much better but I can't lose my fear of having random palpitations when away from home. I feel like I'll never live freely again without this fear hanging over me - I have read Claire Weekes countless times & I use Dare as well, all this helps but if they're bad nothing seems to help.
Anyway, thanks for reading - I just needed to vent to people who understand the fear that goes with these. I have anxiety about palpitations but it shouldn't define me or limit what I can do but it does & only other sufferers can understand how hard that feels.

Hi,

Not a lot to add, but I'm really sorry you're having such an awful time right now.

Have you considered meds at all?

Thanks, no not really, I did try beta blockers in the past but they didn't stop the palps just made my heart beat seem muffled somehow which I found worse! If you mean anxiety meds then no as my health anxiety makes me a bit pill phobic! I'm not completely averse to medication as I know it helps a lot of people but I would rather get to the root cause of my anxiety which I have been with my therapist, I just can't seem to accept these & lose my fear of them. x

I was always dead set against antidepressants, but since I got desperate enough to try them they've made it so much easier to deploy the coping strategies I've learned.

If this is really, life-ruiningly awful for you like my anxiety was for me, it could be worth a go if only for a little while.

OK thanks, much appreciated xx