Desperate for some help.

So a little background, I have always had GAD and panic attacks related to my emetophobia since I was a little girl. In 2008, I dropped out of college and moved home for 6 months (3 of which I did not leave the house but for only for a few hours). When I would leave, I would think I was going to pass out or throw up, my friends stopped inviting me places, I quit doing the things that I loved.. and I was pretty miserable. I had just broken up with a boyfriend so I coupled the agoraphobia with my depression from the split. However, I pulled myself up (with no meds mind you), moved to a different town and went almost 6 years with little to no anxiety, coming and going as I pleased.

Fast forward to 2017, where I suffered an ectopic pregnancy back in April and since then my life has swirled back into a familiar house bound torture thats not only affecting myself, but my boyfriend as well. We live in a small mountain town where he is from, and since the "event" as I like to call it, I am in constant fear that something is going to happen to me. I am not completely housebound (YET), but I feel as if I am on the verge. Like most people who suffer from anxiety, I constantly make up excuses and even have found myself faking sick and even going to the doctors office to get out of doing things that force me to get out of the house and away from my comfort zone. I refuse to let anyone drive me anywhere besides my boyfriend and always have to be in control of situations.

Going home during the holidays was absolutely miserable and I could not even go out to dinner for my Dads birthday. I barely made it through Christmas, but somehow I managed. I go through these waves of going and doing for a few days, then completely exhausting myself with worry and anxiety while I am out that I proceed to stay in for 3-4 days before I have to get out again.

I order food to be delivered, and I have even as of recent stopped answering phone calls from my friends because I am so embarassed and have nothing to say. My boyfriend is a very "go with the flow" type of person and I fear I am holding him back as we have almost completely stopped doing things together. He even shops for me, something I use to love doing. I feel hopeless, and like I have almost lost myself again.. I am even scared of returning to work (I am a nanny) next week for fear of leaving the house. I hope this is just a rut, but I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you have made it this far in my story, thank you. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cherryolivia

So a little background, I have always had GAD and panic attacks related to my emetophobia since I was a little girl. In 2008, I dropped out of college and moved home for 6 months (3 of which I did not leave the house but for only for a few hours). When I would leave, I would think I was going to pass out or throw up, my friends stopped inviting me places, I quit doing the things that I loved.. and I was pretty miserable. I had just broken up with a boyfriend so I coupled the agoraphobia with my depression from the split. However, I pulled myself up (with no meds mind you), moved to a different town and went almost 6 years with little to no anxiety, coming and going as I pleased.

Fast forward to 2017, where I suffered an ectopic pregnancy back in April and since then my life has swirled back into a familiar house bound torture thats not only affecting myself, but my boyfriend as well. We live in a small mountain town where he is from, and since the "event" as I like to call it, I am in constant fear that something is going to happen to me. I am not completely housebound (YET), but I feel as if I am on the verge. Like most people who suffer from anxiety, I constantly make up excuses and even have found myself faking sick and even going to the doctors office to get out of doing things that force me to get out of the house and away from my comfort zone. I refuse to let anyone drive me anywhere besides my boyfriend and always have to be in control of situations.

Going home during the holidays was absolutely miserable and I could not even go out to dinner for my Dads birthday. I barely made it through Christmas, but somehow I managed. I go through these waves of going and doing for a few days, then completely exhausting myself with worry and anxiety while I am out that I proceed to stay in for 3-4 days before I have to get out again.

I order food to be delivered, and I have even as of recent stopped answering phone calls from my friends because I am so embarassed and have nothing to say. My boyfriend is a very "go with the flow" type of person and I fear I am holding him back as we have almost completely stopped doing things together. He even shops for me, something I use to love doing. I feel hopeless, and like I have almost lost myself again.. I am even scared of returning to work (I am a nanny) next week for fear of leaving the house. I hope this is just a rut, but I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

If you have made it this far in my story, thank you. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Hey cherry

So sorry to read youve had such a bad time. You honestly sound like my twin.

I think sometimes too much cortisol in our system really plays havoc with our minds. You are defo not alonem meditation really helps. Theres loads of apps i use. X

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