=(

Hi everyone!

Just thought i'd post a rant about my OCD as it is driving me mad!

I am 20 years old and was diagnosed with OCD in may 2010!
It started off as an obsession with cleanliness and preventing illness and I would wash my hands after I touched anything. I still have this but i tend to find that my obsession changes.

For instance at the moment i am obsessed with thoughts about cancer and death. I also feel scared to tell people about these thoughts incase they come true.
I have to do things that are completely random and make no sense but for some reason reassure me - like touching the wall 3 times before I go to bed and stating things that I do not want to happen before i sleep.

I have a friend who also has OCD and we often find that when we talk about it we tend to begin obsessing over what ever it is that the other person is obsessing over.

I just wondered if anyone else has ever had thoughts about death or loved ones or themselves and if anyone has CBT for their OCD? I start this on tuesday and I'm excited to go but nervous incase it doesn't help and i'm stuck like this forever!
xxx

My OCD started off exactly like yours...cleanliness, preventing illness...only difference is that I was about 7 at the time, I'm 31 now.

In the past year/18 months I have developed health anxiety with OCD traits and it's been a living nightmare. Thoughts about dying and leaving my children, bad things happening to my family, and my main fear is cancer. I can also relate to the fact of starting to obsess over things other people are worried about, I do this all the time, sometimes without realising it.

You should be really proud of yourself for going for the CBT, this was never offered to me until I had a complete meltdown last year. I have found CBT to be extremely helpful but it is hard work and it's one of those things were the more you put into it the more you get back. It has helped me and I can now see the unhelpful thought patterns that I use but I must admit, at first it is difficult to challenge those thoughts.

The best advice I could give is to throw yourself into it, I can now go to bed without spending best part of a hour checking doors, kitchen appliances etc :yesyes:, it's taken me a year to get to that stage though.

Good luck and if you want ever want to chat let me know xxx