what started it

when i was 13 i was into a lot of drugs [acid weed speed e's coke] my dad was a dealer so no proberlm getting hold of them and noone to hold me back at 16 had my frist bad trip at the time didnt think much off it was still taking the drugs and the more drugs i was taking it seemed to get worse .thinking i was losing my mind .never went to the doctors cause i didnt want it on my records 4 years past with me living in hell .at 20 i moved to manchester with my mum and was put on poroxitine was at the time was great i was out more living my life then started working out with my mate drinking catching up on my lost teens :D at 25 my p/a's were back but only when i had a drink and it was the day after but was still able to work at 27 started taking steroids and doing coke[what a fool iam]29 lost every thing home job car and now at 31 i stay in dont go out and feel sorry for myself and try and get my life back in order seen many doctors who have great advice .but when you start to have a panic attack in my case starts by getting hot then cold shortness of breath shaking and thinking iam losing it all tht advice goes out the window . sorry about the spelling :winks:

Our stories are very different, but I know exactly what you mean when you say all the great advice just goes out the window - same with me. Recently, I walked round the block for the first time in a long time, and I actually had to write on my hand "Even if you panic, there is nothing to be scared of" which I knew when I left the house, but I also knew I would forget when I started getting anxious.

I have found that it really helps to write things down. Not necessarily on your hand, but maybe on a little card that you have in your pocket. Basically you just need to reinforce the great advice.

Trust me, I know "easier said than done" - i'm feeling like that at the moment, but little steps will get us there in the end....

Good luck
xx

hiya i do alot of walking and exercise as this got rid of my depression and alot of my anxietys. it also makes me more motivated, positive and happier. even if u do something indoors like i did for a while with my ipod, it may after few weeks make u feel better hugs xxxxx