Accepting depression

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've posted on here. I have suffered with anxiety, OCD and then subsequent depression when it's gotton too much. I have been on medication for 2 years and have been doing realy well with only afew blips here and there.

Anyway! I am finding myself back in that place again, were I wake up everyday paralysed with the fear of the day ahead, constant negative thoughts and feeling like I have fog in my brain.

I have always been terribly afraid of depression ( it's my biggest subject of OCD) do feeling this was always terrifies me. I truly find everyday hard to get through and I can't wait to go to bed so I can get some restbite.

I have been back to my doctors and am waiting for CBT and have upped my medication. However I don't feel any better.

Last week I began to accept the fact that I was depressed and told myself it was ok to lay on the couch for the day or to cry for hours and not worry about going to work, to just take it easy and accept it will pass with time. I felt abit relieved and it felt at times abit easier to deal with.

However yesterday I didn't go to work, something I have never done coz I always worried I was giving into depression and that would make it worse. For the first few hours of the day I felt ok, wanted to go to the shops etc but then as the day went on I felt guilty I didn't go to work and since early afternoon yesterday I have been in turmoil. I am so scared by giving in and accepting in depressed and being ok with it that I am going to sink deeper and deeper and never get better.

I just don't know what to do for the best.

It's not okay to accept depression, its okay to accept that you are suffering from depression at the moment and you are doing something about it. You've increased your meds and waiting for CBT good for you. One day off work isn't the end of the world it gave you chance to do what we all need to do sometime have a good cry and release our emotions. Don't feel guilty , you wouldn't feel guilty if you had a stomach upset or a bug. Mental illness is the same as physical illness. Good luck to you :hugs:

I agree with Jay, people take days off work for colds without batting an eyelid over it. Why should mental health be any different?

I also agree about the application of acceptance. It's only ever about accepting the current reality, not the falsehood that you can't get better. You can, but right now you are where you are and have little choice but to accept that - otherwise you will fight it and we all know how fighting these conditions tends to make them worse. Positive fighting to recover is good, fighting against the symptoms only ends up with more negative focus on the how they make you feel.

You have to learn to cut yourself some slack and resist being hard on yourself with these conditions but it is very hard to learn not to do this earlier on. You will get there though, it takes time and patience and a load of work.

It's okay to be afraid. That's completely normal and that is what you need to accept. Courage is not based on not being able to fear. It is based on having the guts to face fear. So accept your fear and face your depression.

So far you've been doing the right things. You're on medication and soon on therapy. That's the best thing you can do. Face it and deal with it. Acceptance should be used on your mentality that you know you have that condition and you will overcome it. Don't accept it and let it control you, that would be counterproductive.

Just keep believing that you will overcome your condition, do all necessary treatments and you will be okay in no time.

Thank you for your replies.

Deep down I always know that this will pass and that it takes time to heal after an episode, I have been here before so just trying to ensure I am doing the right things.

X