after dark!

hi all just decide to write a short post. i have been on employment and support allowance for four years now since i lost my job. i have suffered with agoraphobia on and off for years , since i can remember really. i have a partner altho we do not live together i stay with him often. its strange because when am with him at his my agoraphobia seems to subside strange i know. anyhow when i am at mine for some reason my agoraphobia rears its ugly head. i cannot even go to the local shop to get toilet rolls or anything in the day i never go out out round there or even to my local town shopping.i get all my shopping ordered online and delivered. sometimes its so bad i cannot even go out to the bin! i sometimes force myself to go out to the local shop after dark ! sure the neighbours must think am either a vampire or a hermit. i do see friends when i travel to nottingham when i travel to see family etc but thats only twice a year. i do lead an isolated existence and the social skills i once had are diminished and non-existent. i do have a good neighbour who i visit every week but sometime i can not even walk down the pathway and up to hers cos my agoraphobia is so bad! i hope am not always like this , i fear am really losing touch with the world and am glad fro the internet, thanks for reading. :noangel:

Sounds a bit like me hun, although I do work and that's hard going, getting out the door every day is such a struggle. I am the hermit/vampire too lol. I just wanted you to know you are not alone with this. Being on this wonderful site has been so helpful for me and I hope you get something positive from it too.
sending :hugs: Kitti xx

I think for me me anyways I am to involved with how people precive me as when most people don't care. When I got out of prison there were about 10 friends of mine at that time wanted me to come hang out and go to the bar. I was so consumed with how they would see me and how I would act that I didn't go because I couldn't or I thought I couldn't meet there expectations. The bad part it is well, now I'll never know how fun it could have been or bad but, that's what life is all about and we we can't compare our lives to others or we will never be good enough for us. Try the best you can to switch up your routine even if its a little bit and always peanuts heavenly father because he wants to hear from you and loves you.

---------- Post added at 22:08 ---------- Previous post was at 22:07 ----------

peanuts was supposed to be pray sorry