Blippidy Blip Blip! 2nd time citalopram, 13th week!

Hi all. 2nd time citalopram user here. On 20mg for the last 12 weeks. Was doing great until today.:weep: Just brought my son to school this morning and had to go back to bed. You know that feeling where you dont want to do anything, go anywhere, see anyone??? Well that is how I've been feeling, just real low!:unsure: So as its my second time on citalopram and my second blip since I went on it in january, I should really know by now to just ride it out. But the thing is I get so scared:scared15: I had horrible thoughts this morning. What if I took all my tablets and just left the world! I would not do this as I love my son, my family and my fiance. But the dark thoughts were there all the same. My man and I are out of work as there is a big recession in Ireland. We are getting married in september and had it booked before he lost his job. My dad is paying the reception. So everything is going to be okay on that front. My uncle doing the music, my mom the flowers and I made my own invites. I have been fine about us having hardly any money and having to rely on benefits. So I know its not that that had made me feel like this. I just feel crappy. Sorry to rant but it is sooooo theraputic for me to be able to write this down! anyhow, just hope it passes and if it doesnt I will go back and up my dose to 30mg as I eventually ended up on that dose last time, last year. If anyone has any words of wisdom, any 2nd time citalopram users would be great, or just anyone. Im quite spiritual but my spirits are down today, thanks all, Asha, Ireland xxx:winks:

Hi Asha, you're under a lot of strain at the moment and a blip now and then is hardly a surprise, so hang in there :D

Your thoughts about taking all the tablets at once are just a reaction to being scared and stressed, the bad thoughts will fade away soon, we all have them now and then and they can't control us or hurt us, so stay cool, you are fine :)

Look at it this way, only TWO blips in four months, I know they are scary but you are doing well! Keep going! :D

I feel the same love and am on cital just over 3 months.. Hang in there although its hard. I been really down for a week now and its the thought of hubbs kids etc that forces me to do a reality check all the time. Bless you

Thanks so much psycho poet your kind words mean alot to me and are very encouraging. I guess its just so disheartening when a blip happens. And sara hope the light lifts for you soon, thanks xxx

thank you x

Hi :)
You replied to my post - You sound like how I felt today. Its so disheartening isnt it when we wake up and all we want to do is go back to bed.
I resisted the temptation as I had to get up but I could easily have stayed in bed feeling the way I do.
Do you think this will keep happening on/off for the duration of the time we are on this medication are do you think its just because its still relatively early days taking it? I have had such a bad day and yours doesnt sound much better. I hope you feel a lot better tomorrow. :hugs:

"Today might not be the best day, but tomorrow will be better"
- Word of wisdom courtesy of PsychoPoet :D

Thanks psychopoet great positive quote! And to Poppy - No I dont think it will happen too often. I was on it last year and had a blip every few months only lasting for a day or 2 at the most. And once when the blip was for over a week the doctor upped my dose to 30mg. It always gets better. I know its hard to believe but it does. Hope you sleep well and tomorrow brings a lot more sunshine xxx

Just thought I would keep up to date. I had an ok day yesterday, bit of anxiety but today the anxiety is there again. I keep having bad dreams every night. Last night I dreamt that my brother who is 39 was missing and nobody in my family cared or was looking for him. And I was trying to make them see in the dream that they should be looking for him. In my dream I felt really anxious and very low. It was a dark feeling and when I woke up the feeling was still there. Has anyone ever had this? I am seriously thinking of going back to doctors to up my dose to 30mg. Dont think I can handle any more of this rubbish

Hi Asha
Sorry to hear you are not having a good day.
I had a good day yesterday and today I feel bad again :weep:
I feel really moody and tired but I had a good nights sleep. I too find I have very vivid dreams -gloom and doom ones that leave me upset when I wake up. I dreamt I was in the cemetary talking with my deceased dad who was telling me he had lung cancer and I was so upset. My dad never had lung cancer and died of something else!
I am going to give the tablets a few more weeks and if they dont help then I may try something else. The anxiety has gone but I am now tearful, moody and irritable, and my personality is not like that normally. :mad: It feels like I have a really bad case of PMT:wacko: