Struggling and feel alone

Loosing hope just feel so awful I had my baby 6 months ago and I love her but I feel like I'm loosing my mind.

Awful birth experience ending in emergency C section. Excessive weight gain and I think my husband has had enough of my depression.

I feel so lost I cry almost everyday i have constant anxiety and I'm so insecure about myself and my marriage I feel I have no directionjust feel like giving up I have no one to turn to.

My husband has been so supportive I got help I'm having therapy.. But I can't bring myself to take the anti depressants and I told. My husband I was taking them but reality is I'm too scared to take them. He found out and got really angry with me said I lied to him for 6 months by not telling him how I was feeling then lying to him about not taking the meds he threatened to leave.. He didn't and I know its my fault and it must be frustrating to him... He didn't leave but I feel things are now strained between us and I feel like he's only staying for our daughter and maybe he dosent love me anymore so much on top of how I feel I'm now obsessing constantly about it.
Im obsessing about my weight I am dieting and exercising but I feel so unattractive and insecure.

Constant racing thoughts I cry over the smallest things I just feel so miserable and unhappy and so alone and lost I just feel like giving up

Sorry for long post I just needed to talk to get it off my chest because other than therapy I don't feel I have anyway to vent and I don't want to burden my husband I don't want to loose him.

I went from being happy and in love to miserable and lost all in 1 year and I just don't know how to cope

Vent over xxx

Hi, I'm so sorry for what you're going through now but please take the antidepressants and see your Dr/do a video conference or phone. You've likely got post natal depression, which can happen up to a year after the birth. You will need help to recover from this.

I had it 32 years ago, eight months after the birth of my second daughter and it took 4 months before I got onto the right medication and could sleep. I got so rundown, I had to get home help in to look after my girls while my then-husband was at work. I was a walking zombie!

After birth a woman's hormones can take a huge dive down which exacerbates the situation. Having a baby is a huge change in family dynamics and sometimes you have to change your expectations of what you thought things would be like. Give yourself a year before putting so much pressure on yourself, you don't have to be perfect or wonder woman you just have to be yourself and a good mum... don't worry about weight, just eat a healthy diet and the rest will follow. My fiance's daughter had PND and was on antidepressants after the birth of her son. She was having a tough time, she'd moved to a new city as her partner is a police officer and works shifts so she was alone with baby a lot of the time with no family close by. She's fine now :)

Have an honest discussion with your partner, start by apologising for lying and explain to him what you are scared of and why, tell him how you feel and that you love him. I understand that he is very disappointed and he shouldn't have threatened to leave (that was fear talking and immaturity) but he didn't leave. you need to share the burden of parenting with your husband, he is your daughters father so he needs to step up and help you more at this time.
He's probably as upset as you are and some men are very fragile after the birth of a baby.

Antidepressants are fine and you have to stick with them for at least 6 months plus they take 10-14 days to fully work. If you're not feeling better in 2 weeks you may need another type of antidepressant or a change in dosage. I took them for at least 6 months and didn't have weight gain.

The depression/anxiety is feeding your weight obsession so you need to slow down and take care of you. Ask your husband to go to the Dr with you so he can understand more about things. Take care and let us know how you get on x