So....I've had alot of ups and downs lately. Both with mental health issues, health issues (my acne has caused ALOT of issues lately :mad:), personal issues etc.
So this summer I'll be 23 and I'm going to try to use this summer to really pick myself up and make myself the best me I can be.
I'm going to Germany for a week on Monday, I'll be making a new home for myself in Germany next Autumn. Which is huge, part of my anxiety had always been I needed to have someone around me. Someone I can lean on, nearly push my fears onto them- yet here I am moving to a new country by myself. Starting a new life by myself. It's scary, I've talked to my therapist about it and she said we can have phone appointments. She also said if I truly hate it and I can't cope, I can always come home again. It's better to go there and try then stay here and regret it forever.
Yet I have come better about health anxiety, I haven't googled in at least four months! I also have one tonsil way, way bigger and lump compared to the other. I took photo of it very day for ages obsessed with it. It was strangely lumpy and strange- looked horrible. Ask my gp about it the last time I was there a few months ago. Haven't thought about it since! Which is huge for me. It's prob because I had throat infections alot in my teens and it never went down again!
I also don't self check as often anymore- just once very month after a shower- sometimes it goes longer then a month if I'm in a good head space! Compared to the non-stop touching and poking I used to do.
I'm having issues now and I have so issues now and again- but I feel like I'm doing better! I hope I am, I'm trying. I lived in fear for so long and while I've had some issues it's never been what I feared. I've had so many tests, so many gp vist. I hope I get stronger and need even less appointments
I'm worried about making new friends, about my friends in Ireland forgetting about me in Ireland. I know even with my struggles I have friends here who love me very much, that will miss me- but my mental being love telling me otherwise. That it's also not a reason to stay here, that there's so many ways to keep in contact.
Health wise....I've had a down period lately. Lots of headaches (etc, etc). I've mainly come around from this, I still get some issues but I'm trying to push on with it all. So I've been dealing with that okay! But (NOW isn't that a great word to have here)- I've got a few small red dots in different places on both arms and on my legs and lots of itchy points- I haven't used any new body products or I wasn't anywhere to get bug bites. The red spots are small and I try my best not to itch. It's probably harmless and will pass as it only came on two nights ago and I noticed the spots yesterday. I put some cream on them and hope they clear up. There's always something :wacko:.
I've also struggled alot with sleeping lately....that's never fun but some lovely members here have been so helpful. I wish someday to sleep before 4 am again!
I'm going to keep everything here, all the health stuff, other life stuff. Hope it all goes onwards tho!