Up and down sufferer more down

Hi all , i am a male , married , 2 healthy kids reasonable but slightly stressful job,
I,m fairly new here , I've battled this anxiety thing for four years now with ups and downs , spent two years on mirtazapine , weened off that and now only use techniques and herbal tea etc . My biggest problem is anxiety over my heart , because of all the symptoms I get I cannot get it into my head that I,m ok , I have had tests I.e treadmill , c.t angiogram that said ok . But still I cannot seperate my feelings and symptoms . As I get arm , chest pain , tingling in left hand pains in left hand , sharp pain in my back behind heart !
Redness in face , dry skin, dizziness, dry heaves , list goes on and on
I have had several turbulent years which are to long to go into now and maybe it's taken a toll . Loss of father ,through his depression , failed move to Australia ,as that's when my problems kicked in and came home .. Lost 2 babies in pregnancy or rather my wife. did to name a few .

Stupidly I visited a medium a few years ago (3) who amongst accurate things told me watch your heart and stress and do something about it , she was insistent on this .and I can't get her words out of my head , I think about seeing her again to see if it was anxiety she meant as I know have a deep rooted fear over her wordsso in a nutshell I,m a mess , a functioning mess who carries on I get stressed out really easy now and worry . I never used to .

I keep busy I work and run a youth football team . Things peak and trough , I sweat heavily from my head at night ??? But not on a weekend I.e Friday and Saturdays when I have had a few glasses of red wine , but then I convince myself I have liver disease !!
I,m not a basket case I get on or should I say I wear a good mask . My wife doesn't know the half of it although she knows I,m not right . I just feel like a failure and a bit lost and need to get this monkey off my back .

Sorry it's garbled but I could have written an essay