Getting a mortgage

Hi guys, I have to say, I haven’t been on here in a few years as generally I’ve been feeling good. The usual ups and downs of life obviously but have been coping well.

Anyway, just a bit of background. I’m going to be 45 this year and I still rent. I’ve ashamedly been in the same flat for nearly 17 years. It’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere in my life. It’s not great, but I’ve stayed because it’s ridiculously cheap and it has enabled me to save up and have a pretty stress free existence money wise.

Well, here we are in 2018 and this week me and my girlfriend have put an offer in on a small house. Ok it’s a bit of a dump and will need lots of work but it’s got “lots of potential” (my girlfriends words). So, this should be a really exciting time in both our lives, moving in together, getting our feet on the property ladder. But, I’m feeling so anxious like I haven’t in a few years. I know they say moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do, but it’s not so much that, I think it’s the reality of facing up to real life that’s hitting me. I guess I’ve grown so comfortable in my shared flat, almost living like a student, disposable income and just that secure feeling of being content.

I’m now facing moving to another part of South London I don’t know very well, my rent will now be replaced by mortgage repayments that are going to be double what I’m paying now. I guess it’s like a perfect storm of things I am afraid to face up to. I’ve been having trouble sleeping, I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach and have lost my appetite, my legs feel like jelly, my mouths dry. All the bloody usual symptoms. I’m even snapping at my girlfriend and I hate that she’s having to put up with this when we should both be taking these steps together.

I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if other people had been through something similar when buying their first place, or any place come to that.

Thanks for listening guys 🙏🏻

Gav

Oh goodness yes. I honestly think going from renting to buying was one of the most stressful times of my life. I went from paying $400 a month in rent to $1000 in mortgage payments a month.

That being said - I don’t regret it at all. In fact I’ve since sold that house and made a profit, which allowed me to buy a much nicer home for not much more a month. I love the home we’re in now. So while it’s so stressful to go through the process initially, it was absolutely worth it for me :)

Thanks, yeah. I’m literally petrified at the moment. I’m finding the whole thing completely overwhelming. I think what makes it worse is that I don’t want to let down my girlfriend. I can’t expect her to drift through life because I can’t face up to this challenge. I’m afraid it will end our relationship, and who can blame her, she wants us to move forward together but if I can’t I can’t expect her to put her life on hold.

I don’t know if it’s the financial burden or the moving to a new area that’s really the cause...

I got so stressed when selling a house & buying a new one. There’s just so much to do and think about. It’s definitely a valid entry in the lists of most stressful things.

All I can say is that you should keep as organised as possible. Write lists, share tasks, make plans!

All of this stress will be worth it, and that’s what you need to focus on.


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Buying a house for me was so stressful, but in the end so worth it. Now I am 3 years in my house and it feels really good because instead of my money going to somebody else's investment, it is going to my own. It is a great feeling once you own your own property.

I've owned a few homes in my lifetime. But life's circumstances threw a curve ball at me and I had to start over from scratch in my 40's. That said, I worked hard, scrimped and saved, re-married and together we rebuilt our credit. We had been renting a townhouse since we've been together and the opportunity came up to purchase the place. We would have wanted to get a larger home but we've made this little place our home over the last ten years. So here we are, late 50's and early 60's and homeowners again. The mortgage will outlive me but insurance will cover that when that time comes. We're fortunate as our mortgage is less than our rent but now we're responsible for everything. Fortunately though, we took care of the place and the owner did any regular maintenance through the years.

I get it's a big step and the financial responsibility is greater but there's something about knowing it's yours that is a really good feeling :)

FMP

We're fortunate to have finished our mortgage so although we still have maintenance/bills, it's ours. Which does give you a huge sense of security.