Terrified all the time

Hello,

I have signed up to this for advice from like minded people as I am really struggling at the moment. I struggle with anxiety anyway and have some ocd type behaviours.

Every day I am anxious about covid to the point where it is probably making me ill. I currently work from home, as does my partner and we get shopping delivered. I cannot stop obsessing over it and any time anyone develops a possible symptom I go into meltdown. For example my partner’s teenage daughter felt nauseous last night and I am terrified she has covid - no other symptoms but I know this can be a symptom. I have spent the night worrying about her.

I have worked throughout the pandemic (teacher) but I have reached a point where my fear is all consuming. My mother was unwell with covid and this has further compounded my fear. She is on the way to recovery now but was quite poorly. A lot of the fears seem to stem from my fear of my partner getting it - he is only in his mid 30s and is generally healthy but has mild asthma and is classed as obese (not morbidly but obese). I worry that he will catch it and end up hospitalised, or worse. I drive him mad telling him to take care with distancing and to wear a mask getting in deliveries etc but I am so scared I cannot stop! I’ve seen so many horror stories in the news.

I constantly wipe things down and my hands are always red raw from washing them. I can’t sleep and I have lost weight. Sometimes I know I am being irrational but I can’t help it.

Sorry for the long first post. I just needed to get all that off my chest! Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Hello there and welcome to NMP! You are certainly amongst like minded people here.

First of all, you are doing a really stressful job in a very uncertain environment where rules are changing all the time and nothing is considered "safe". You are also surrounded by potential triggers all the time so no wonder you are chronically stressed. You're not being irrational, you're mentally exhausted and constantly on the alert.

I take it your partner is quite laid back about getting covid? It's hard when you are anxious about his vulnerability yet he takes it all in his stride and carries on regardless. My son is the same despite having significant health conditions. All you can do is ask them to be careful..They are responsible adults at the end of the day.

Can you speak to your GP about the insomnia and weight loss? Would you consider a short course of diazepam to take the edge off the worst of the anxiety? Teaching in these circumstances is a minefield..I admire you for your resilience despite your severe anxiety but you do need help and support now, quite deservedly.

I have similar issues concerning my own mother who has dementia and is totally oblivious to this whole Covid situation, and she often gets in a right strop when me and my dad ask her to wash her hands and not get too close to other people outside of our household.

Whenever she is out walking with me and the dog she often brushes past others on the paths and even stops to talk to them without social distancing.
Often the other people whom she brushes past or stops to make conversations with (mostly total strangers) don't even appear to bat an eyelid either, as if nothing is wrong.

Really makes me cringe big time!

Hello both,

Thank you for your replies.

Thank you for appreciating the situation for schools Pulisa. It has been very difficult and has probably impacted staff across the country more than people think. My partner is a little more laid back about it than I am and he never says I’m driving him up the wall with it but I suppose I worry I am. I think when I am very anxious I am probably a bit ‘full on’. I genuinely just worry all the time at the moment about the people around me catching it and it’s very draining. Lots of people are having the same problems though. I have been in touch with my GP and am waiting to start on some CBT for my anxiety and OCD behaviours. I’m not sure what to do about medication though so I think I need to give them another ring.

Lencoboy that sounds like a really difficult situation with your mother. You and your dad are obviously doing your best to try and keep her safe! It’s such a difficult time for everyone at the moment.

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Originally Posted by E89295

Hello both,

Thank you for your replies.

Thank you for appreciating the situation for schools Pulisa. It has been very difficult and has probably impacted staff across the country more than people think. My partner is a little more laid back about it than I am and he never says I’m driving him up the wall with it but I suppose I worry I am. I think when I am very anxious I am probably a bit ‘full on’. I genuinely just worry all the time at the moment about the people around me catching it and it’s very draining. Lots of people are having the same problems though. I have been in touch with my GP and am waiting to start on some CBT for my anxiety and OCD behaviours. I’m not sure what to do about medication though so I think I need to give them another ring.

Lencoboy that sounds like a really difficult situation with your mother. You and your dad are obviously doing your best to try and keep her safe! It’s such a difficult time for everyone at the moment.

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It most certainly is, but thankfully far easier than last spring, as not only are we more experienced and know what to do (and not to do) and expect this time round, but also take comfort in the fact that vaccines are now here and being doled out accordingly, whereas they were still quite a long way off back then.

I can kind of accept my mom's issues with being unable to comprehend the current situation but it's those who are fully capable of understanding but are just too pig ignorant to even care, and think it's all a jolly joke, then have the nerve to play the blame game once they finally succumb to being an official statistic and say 'it's not my fault', 'why didn't b****y Boris and Co do anything?', etc.

Thing is, those Covidiots chose to ignore the guidelines, but are still blameless in their opinions.

I can't believe some people are reportedly still visiting beaches at this time of year. Totally irrational and beyond the pale if you ask me!

You might find that some medication would help you because Covid is really affecting your quality of life and there is no definite end in sight. You can hardly escape from its impact particularly as you are in the teaching profession.
Why not discuss this option with your GP and see what you think? Meds would complement your therapy as well if they suit you.