Social Anxiety/Agoraphobia stopping me from going to New York

Hi this is my first post on here, Sorry if it's a bit shaky. I was diagnosed with panic disorder and social anxiety at the age of 15, seemed to deal with it pretty well managed to go on holidays and to festivals, would go places on my own (just not be very social) however the last couple of years this has manifested into Agarophobia. I can't leave the house on my own I relied on my mum and boyfriend to drive me everywhere, however when I got places I would just have to leave again. I have a strange symptom where my legs go numb and my eyes go foggy which makes me panic even more. This has led to me not being able to get a job and had to leave university in a prisoner in my own home at this point.

I've tried online CBT with a therapist and didn't find it very useful, was prescribed citalopram but didn't take it as it's an antidepressant and I'm not depressed so it seemed pointless.

My boyfriend is currently studying at a university in New York for a year and has been begging for me to go across and see him as he's feeling quite lonely, his parents even offered to pay for me but how can I go when I can't even leave the house on my own? I feel so guilty and I'm not quite sure why he's still with me, anyone else would jump at the chance but there is physically no way I could do it.

Just feeling very lost at the moment, I'm only 21 but I feel like CBT is just useless for me and I don't want to have to take antidepressants since I'm not depressed.

Hi topcat,
well I can totally see why New York would seem a massive step so I think put that on the back burner for a bit. I think as anxiety sufferers we all have feelings of 'how can loved ones put up with me?' but they do, because they love us. Everyone has issues, if people wanted perfect partners then nobody would be in a relationship!

I have tried online CBT with a therapist and found it's usefulness limited however CBT in person was really pretty effective although hard work. So don't rule CBT out all together.
I think the first thing you should consider is that although anti depressants are of course used to treat depression, they can also be very effective to treat anxiety. So maybe you could give them a go? They may just help take the edge off anxiety which would help you to do CBT.
The other medication you could try is a beta blocker which can help calm down a pounding heart and the shakes if these are a problem for you.

Dr Claire Weekes is really popular with lots of people with anxiety, try googling her and see if you can get her books online. These might help you some.

There are lots of options to try, don't give up hope it can get better although I know it sucks right now
Best wishes
Vicky
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He broke up with me just so everyone knows the ending��