Health anxiety

Hi everyone. I’m a 19 year old male and I suffer with anxiety and depression. Every year around September/October/November my health anxiety peaks really bad. First it started with thinking I had colon cancer because I had passed blood, I freaked out and became an absolute mess for weeks, I went doctors, had an examination (if u know what I mean) and was assured everything is fine just a small crack, was sent for bloods to be done, came back okay apart from liver enzymes or something like that, nothing major. Got scheduled for a CT scan to check my liver, all came back okay just a slightly fatty liver (I’m a fairly heavy guy ). This was 2 years ago in September. Last year, around the same month, I was again convinced I had bowel cancer, so again I went to the doctors, had another examination, was told the crack in my back passage was quite large, ( pun not intended). Assured again everything was fine. Now when I see that I’ve passed blood on occasion I remain calm and am aware I’m not dying.
But I now have a new one.
Up until last week I’ve been a heavy cigarette smoker for 4 years and a heavy cannabis smoker for nearly 3, smoking every day. The past year I’ve abused cannabis quite a lot.
Now sometimes when I cough, a couple times a day, I will cough up clear phlegm with brown streaks in them. This has been happening for a year and I know it’s from smoking, I have friends and family who have this, but also ones who smoke who have never seen it before which makes my anxiety worse. I got really bad on Monday and had to leave work in a panic attack, I got the train home and went straight to the doctors, in an anxious panicky mess. I told her what I was coughing up and she asked me what I thought it was, to which I replied “resin and tar from smoking” and she confirmed it for me. She wasn’t concerned it’s blood, she wasn’t concerned it’s cancer or anything Nasty just the effects of smoking. I have now kicked the cigarettes and it’s been 5 days without, ive smoked 2 joints, but have stopped putting tobacco in them, but my cannabis habit has been cut right down. The doctor was more concerned about my anxiety than she was my initial reason for going, which put my mind at rest pretty quick.
She gave me Citalopram but I don’t think I will be taking this, my mum advised me against after her experiences with it.
But I still can not shake the health anxiety, I keep thinking that I’ve got a severe type of cancer that’s spread all the way to my lymph nodes and that I’m going to die very shortly and leave everyone behind.
This terrifies me. I can’t help but notice everything I my body at the moment, every twinge, every sensation all triggers me. I was feeling my throat yesterday and noticed that when I press on the right side, about an inch from my Adam’s apple, that there is a painless clicking sensation. I also think there’s one on the left side too but this one is harder to find. After a day of panic I went home and told my mum, to which she made me feel her throat and that she has one too. I then read on this site, that another user, who suffers the same way I do from health anxiety had noticed this in her throat and I see everyone comment on the thread re assuring her, this calmed me for a while but now I am starting to panic again, surely this shouldn’t happen? Surely my mums throat when she showed me was just coincidence? I really do think that I’m going to die, I think everything is wrong, I’m begging to question my vision, my senses, I’m not sure if I feel disoriented or not, It’s nearly November and I’m struggling to remember the last time I was cold, I constantly feel like I’m going to have a heart attack I’m my chest is going to pack up in my sleep.
I know I’ve damaged my mental health from smoking large amounts of cannabis, but I really am in a mess and can’t find reassurance even from the doctor :( I feel like such a shell of a man when this happens, it effects my self esteem and pride, especially when I have to turn to my girlfriend to calm me down from a bad panic attack I had at work, which resulted in me getting the train home. I know I’m just anxious, my mum assured me it’s a seasonal thing, the changes of season effect me apparently mentally and physically. I’m worried I may have induced paranoid schizophrenia, or some sort of condition like that, I have no trust, I’m paranoid to the max (even got it tattooed across my chest) and constantly worrying about everything.
Anyone able to offer me some comfort?
Do I need to just calm down and relax? Should I got to A&E and request them to do every check in the book I really don’t know. I just want to calm down and want the panic to stop, I want to feel right again, I’m not too focused on cannabis right now either, I just want to get my head back into gear.

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Originally Posted by Travroberts223

Do I need to just calm down and relax?

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Pretty much, but it's how YOU find a way to do that.

Cannabis will mess with your mind. Some people seem to be able to function habitually smoking it, but most people don't. Eventually paranoia and anxiety become an issue for most cannabis users. I would focus on cutting it out completely.

The absolute first thing you must do is stop googling and reading about symptoms. Literally any symptom you fire into google will eventually come back with cancer.

In terms of going to A&E, they wouldn't even let you in without a specific problem, let alone run every test in the book at your request. The best thing for you to do is go back to your GP and discuss treatment for your anxiety, and that you want to stop smoking weed. The chances of anything serious being wrong with you at 19 is practically zero, no matter what you may have read.

Something else to consider is that you mentioned a yearly drop in mood around this time of year. This points to a Vitamin D deficiency, which in some people can cause pretty potent mood problems. This is because of the lack of sun we get in the UK, and it's definitely worth trying to spend as much time outside as possible, preferably in the morning and also supplementing with a high quality VitD supplement, they're not expensive.

Try the citalopram some people get bad side effects from antidepressants and some people don't get any and if it doesn't suit you you can try a different antidepressant.

Not a lot I can add to the excellent advice already offered buddy. But to reiterate anxietyjoe, keep off google if you can because it will take a faint half-thought in the back of your mind and blow it into reality with just a few clicks. I've done this to myself, this time last year I was up at the hospital's cardio unit 100% convinced I had congestive heart disease. I didn't, in fact my heart was fine.

Ditto last May when I was 100% certain that a lesion on the back of my hand was skin cancer. I saw the GP he said 'wart'. As has been said, all roads on google lead to something life threatening. I'm 54 but you being 19 you are very very unlikely to have what you think you do. It's anxiety that's at work here, medication can mitigate that along with therapies like CBT.

Thank you mate, your reply as well as the others really have helped me calm down a little. She did ask me if I was interested in CBT and I told her I’d get back to her on that after having thought about it, I’m going to call her back over the weekend and tell her that I would like to go through with it. I’m a bit more calmer today, still can’t help getting paranoid about things tho, I am working towards cutting the weed out completely, it just takes time.
Also, could what I’m experiencing be due to nicotine withdrawal? I’m nearly a full week without a cigarette now.

I've never smoked so can't give you much advice on a personal level. However my daughter smokes roll-ups and I've been reliably informed that when she tries giving up she gets moodiness, headaches and that her symptoms are bad for 3-4 days but get better after that. She doesn't have an anxiety diagnosis so someone with one may find giving up a challenge? A week without a cigarette is brilliant, be proud of yourself!!

Going for the CBT sounds like a good idea. It can help to put the anxiety into perspective. Take care buddy.

Did you ever visit any Psychiatrist? To treat your health anxiety, I think you need to consult a psychologist.
Cannabis is one of the most widely misused substances in the UK. Cannabis use affects your central nervous system, and causes sensations of calmness, mild euphoria, increased appetite. If possible, you can contact with an rehab center as the cannabis smoking habit can affect your heart rate and blood pressure.

Hi there
My panic attacks started when I was young due to cannabis use. I volunteer in a drug rehab center and all I can say is cannabis is not a "soft" drug as a lot of people try to make out, it
causes a lot of problems, especially mental health ones. If you want to get well I think you will definitely have to consider giving it up completely. If you want to but find it difficult there is help out there x