Stepping back as Admin

As a few of you know I am very much struggling with my own mental health.

All of the admins and moderators suffer from mental health problems too we are not immune especially when things are happening on the forum.

and to be honest dealing with some of the arguments and threads on here is making me worse.... sometimes it distracts me and other times it makes me worse.

So I have decided that for now I am going to step down as a visible admin on the forum for a couple of weeks until my brain has healed a little.

I need to look after ME rather than the 1,056 active members on here.

I will be in the background and occasionally you may see me pop up deleting threads from time to time and I will still be an admin but just taking a back seat While I get my head together...

As Arnie says..... I will be back!!!!

V honey you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

It would be nice if people thought a bit how comments can affect others.

As always we will support you in whatever you decide as far as involvement on the forum and chat is concerned.

Take care hun, and get this beat.

Elen

I can understand it must be very overwhelming at times it's not a task I'd take on .
Take care and hope you feel stronger real soon :)

As a member going through a relapse myself, it is the right thing to do.
The body and brain needs to repair and you can't do that if you are surrounded by stressful situations.
Try to find some relaxing hobbies are just chill on the sofa with a nice mug of hot chocolate.
Sending you hugs. :hugs:

Absolutley Venus you look after you self and thank you for all the work and kindness to help others go and pamper your self and rest :):hugs: ATB

Take care of yourself, VBJ.

You have to take care of yourself first and foremost!! I hope you are able to rest and look after your own needs.:hugs:

My best wishes to you, Venus. It must be very hard not to get affected by some of the posts on here especially when you are unwell yourself. I hope you find some respite and peace very soon away from the stresses of NMP xx

:hugs:

As always... sending :hugs: and...

Positive thoughts

FMP

:hugs::hugs::hugs:For you Venus x

thank you everyone, been to the drs today and got diazapam to add to my citalopram and propranol.

I am still really panicking and my head is having a huge "I can't see a way forward"

but fingers crossed things start getting better soon

Yes you may not see it yet but it will get better for sure. now go and pamper your self :)and look after you self ATB

Venus,

I agree with all of the above, you can only put others first so for long. Please focus on getting yourself healthy first.

I'm not surprised it's hard to keep being on here at times as an Admin, it's hard for some of us who struggle with different elements of the forum but at least we haven't got commitments to it and can walk away if we choose.

It's time for the forum to help you. I have to confess to not having enough time as Xmas is a patchy one for me on here but have seen just how hard you are trying in your threads and I was glad to see the attitude of your boss who headed off some negative thinking where you again put them before you and she gave you a reminder that you are important to her!

Try to have a break and take things more slowly. The micro goals are all important and they will add up for you.

:hugs::flowers:

Gosh Terry..your halo is shining bright tonight. Ive been reading your posts :D

Venus, I think we all send you very best wishes for your recovery. Look after yourself.

Cath S ☺ x x

Best of luck Venus, and hope you're better soon. I know that being an admin or a mod can be a thankless task sometimes, so thanks for all you've done to help the board run smoothly.

Come on folks to those who haven't wished Venus all the best remember without Admin/Mods we woudnt have a forum :) ATB

I could see you were struggling to keep things together while also posting support for others - and that can certainly be counterproductive and draining.

I think you should still post updates on your recovery and concentrate on yourself. Unfortunately, not everyone can be helped on here, and furthermore, some people can be incredibly selfish too :lac:

Take care and all the best.

I fully agree with the selfish attitudes and there is absolutely no excuse for that. Very draining to try to support others who only think of themselves.

Take care, Venus.

Today my brain has been ummmm troubled shall we say...

It was another tough day, took 2 diazapam (so far) and they do calm my brain down a bit...... but at the minute there is always the "I have no way out"... just less so while the diazapam is doing it's stuff

I managed to pop out in thee pouring rain to go drop something off, only 2 miles up the road and my mum came with me. but I did it.... that is a big thing for me the dusk especially makes me panic!!! or just the general dull weather! so driving in it is kind of an achievement I think....

not done much this afternoon and so far this evening........ unsure if to take another diazapm this evening or not.... I woke with a headache and a kind of groggy feeling which panicked me.... so thinking i should stop taking my daily dose earlier so they kind of get out of my system by the time I wake up...

no idea if that will work... any diazapam specialists online??

tomorrow I am hoping it will be brighter both for the weather and for me.... ffs it said it was meant to be brighter today but rained all day.

Thank you for showing an interest in my recovery..... it WILL be a recovery.... i am bloody determined lol

You are being totally disingenuous v. You have spent most of the afternoon and this evening supporting someone and this really has to stop,

Lecture over for the minute

Venus you are taking baby steps which is always good and the weather has been bloody awful today and cold too do well done for what you have achieved today :yesyes: good to see you are determined to recover and you will ATB

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Elen

You are being totally disingenuous v. You have spent most of the afternoon and this evening supporting someone and this really has to stop,

Lecture over for the minute

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Thats part of me..... trying my hardest to look after me first but looking after others is inbred ....:shrug::hugs:

Yeah well just be prepared for the 3 witches to tell you what is what

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Elen

Yeah well just be prepared for the 3 witches to tell you what is what

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Ok you have me....... I am scared of you 3!!! ****runs and hides****

Going through the same patch Emmez.
At least we can recognise the symptoms and know there is a recovery in sight.
I find it is a build up that leads to this.
It's not nice, but it's not forever. x :hugs:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Carnation

Going through the same patch Emmez.
At least we can recognise the symptoms and know there is a recovery in sight.
I find it is a build up that leads to this.
It's not nice, but it's not forever. x :hugs:

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Thank you :) You would have thought so but I spent a couple of days this last week just seeing no way out of how I am feeling and that there was no recovery in sight :/

That feeling is still there at the minute BUT it is in the background rather than right in the foreground shouting at me.

The diaz seems to have helped lots in calming me down and putting this feeling in the back ground and I even got to Tesco today to get a few bits. which is an achievement,

Dusk is still a huge trigger especially when it is dull and dark....It was to be sunny today at dusk!! it wasn't lol

Thank you all again :) xx :hugs::hugs:

Venus, have you ever connected it with seasonal depression? Its known as SAD and this came to mind because you've mentioned that your feelings grow worse around dusk and into the evening.

Cath x

I have done a bit Cathy but there are other bits involved too.

I bought myself a SAD lamp and sods law the change of light makes me panic!!

Oh not good lol! Well we will keep you in our thoughts V.

Hope you have a better Sunday x

I'm the same about the weather Emmz. :(
And so many cloudy, dull days. 2mrw is a better forecast.
I've had relapses before, but never this bad.
I feel Anxiety is attacking me from all angles.
I've given up alcohol completely and drinking so much water.
I carry a bottle of water everywhere, which also acts as a coolant when one of those horrid hot flushes come on. The grounding is hard, but I find the nostril breathing quite effective as it doesn't make you go dizzy.
Hope some of that helps you.
You are not alone in this. x

Hope you feel better soon.

All good wishes to you x

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time, VBJ

You absolutely need to be focusing on yourself and getting better.

Wishing you a happy and healing 2018 :)

Venus, I see despite saying this you are still battling away in a certain corner of this forum that the rest of us have given up on.

I know what it's like to have to pare back on using this forum when your own health is at stake, and I'm not even an admin. Look after yourself, rather than others who sadly can't be helped on here no matter how hard we have tried.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by venusbluejeans

As a few of you know I am very much struggling with my own mental health.

All of the admins and moderators suffer from mental health problems too we are not immune especially when things are happening on the forum.

and to be honest dealing with some of the arguments and threads on here is making me worse.... sometimes it distracts me and other times it makes me worse.

So I have decided that for now I am going to step down as a visible admin on the forum for a couple of weeks until my brain has healed a little.

I need to look after ME rather than the 1,056 active members on here.

I will be in the background and occasionally you may see me pop up deleting threads from time to time and I will still be an admin but just taking a back seat While I get my head together...

As Arnie says..... I will be back!!!!

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How are you getting on?

There are quite a few times where I'm really slow in responding to PM's. My symptoms & GAD problems come into play with things like email (a remnant of my work stress issues that pushed me off in relapse) so I can struggle to keep up. It's nothing personal to anyone and in no way reflects my feelings about their PM or them and I find myself having to explain this so it doesn't impact on them. Sometimes so much time has elapsed that it seems pointless to respond.

So, at times I may seem rude on PM. But it's actually about my mental health.

Just popping this in because in previous years I've found myself trying to keep on top of all that and not working on my own health.

I've found people I've explained this to are very understanding, which helps me as I have a tendency to kick myself over it.

sorry been trying to stay away and failing badly :D

NMP is kind of part of me and it seems natural to post on here and do admin type things :/


I am lucky to have such a brilliant group of friends around me offline and online.... whoever said that online friends are not real friends is a pile of tosh I have met so many people online who I do consider true friends, even though I have not met them in person. Then there are the ones which started as an online friendship and has gone on from there to meeting up :)

Right now to my head

My brain is improving very slowly, I have my good days and I have my bad days and really bad days.

Still trying to follow CBT4Panic.

The Observor position seems logical..... that you aren't your thoughts, you are the person who is watching those thoughts hating them... son you yourself are fine, just having these horrible thoughts...... I say it is logical, it is but trying to get my head round it is another matter!!

I am also doing the going towards the panic and letting it be.. grounding myself and not being frightened of the thoughts as it is just my fight or flight going haywire and making a mistake

I have my Birthday Party 10 days today. I have my fingers tightly crossed that that will go ahead still

thank you all again

The Claire Weekes books were the CBT for us back in the day, and her advice is still very relevant today. I still have mine from the 1980s and dip into them when the need arises. Glad to hear you're getting there Venus.

Cath ☺

Just make sure you are healthy both physically and mentally on your birthday,and rest up we need you all.
Take Care of You.:flowers: