need a moan

hi everyone,

i've been struggling a lot lately. my hypochondria is getting worse and worse and i think i'm starting to develop agoraphobia because of it. i've been having neck spasms which ive been doing stretches for, but i feel this weakness now, like i can't hold my head up straight all the way or else i'll get dizzy. i keep cycling through the same ailments (brain tumor, arthritis of the neck, cervical dystonia) over and over and it's gotten to the point to where i dont want to go out.
i tried to go out yesterday, with my parents to go do some errands. at one point while i was in the store, i started feeling breathless (i had to walk behind my mom and felt like i couldn't breathe all the way) and my neck started to tighten up and i felt like my throat was going to close up. i was so afraid i was gonna pass out. i told my mom about it and she got upset with me and basically told me it was all my fault that i was feeling this way and that i need to do more exercise (which i've been doing yoga ever since). i had both of my parents feel my neck spasms and they were worried, but ive been doing the stretches and my neck hasnt spasmed very intensely since, which is good. but...ever since i started doing the yoga, ive felt like this tightness in my stomach muscles, i can't tell if that's normal or if it's something to be concerned about. i really only feel normal when i lay down. i also feel like i cant get enough air in my lungs and my chest muscles are tight and there's just been so much.... im so tired of feeling like im about to die all the time, im so tired of my mom and dad not taking me seriously....
i tried to go to sleep a few minutes ago, and everything just hit me at once...and i just started crying. like full on sobbing. i felt a little better emotionally but i still feel the symptoms...
i just wish i could schedule a doctor's appt but i don't have a doctor at the moment, i have to go with my mom to find a doctor that will take my insurance. i feel like if i were to have a doctor's okay, then i would have all the symptoms melt away...
im tired of trying to seek reassurance. im just tired of everything really

Hey


sorry you feeling upset right now, is there anyone else you could talk about how you feel, maybe close friend.
it does all sounds like anxiety and I wouldn’t think that there is anything actually wrong with your neck.
It is sometimes difficult to explain to parents all this. It took my mum years before she could understand a bit why I’m taking meds for anxiety.
Sending hugs