Hen Weekend anxiety due to Emetophobia

No-one really knows about my fear of vomiting apart from my husband, even he doesn't really understand it, and even sometimes gets annoyed at me. I am very lucky that I have not vomited myself even when I've caught stomach bugs since I was in my 20's (I'm now 46). But I have intense anxiety if anyone else is sick close by, or says they feel ill or I hear them being ill or see it on TV, when it has happened it stays in my mind and bothers me and I feel like I'm shaking constantly, I even vividly remember occasions at school and other places from when I was child, it never leaves my head. If anyone is ever ill in my household I won't go near the bathroom until I know it has been totally cleaned & disinfected, but this isn't just due to viruses that may still be in the bathroom - I'm the same if someone is ill from drinking too much or morning sickness or anything else, this is just because I cannot bring myself to use a toilet that someone has been ill in, and I'd rather wait in agony dying for the loo until it has been cleaned. My husband thinks I'm mad when I get like this.

Anyhow I've been invited on a hen weekend next May by a close friend who will be quite upset if I don't go but I am getting very anxious about agreeing to go. I was really hoping I could pay extra for my own room and facilities in the hotel but my friend says this isn't an option and I will have to share a 2 bed apartment with one bathroom with 5 others to keep the cost down for everyone else, I know some of her friends can't handle alcohol and will be ill from it and I'm already really nervous and on edge thinking about it. I've never stayed away sharing facilities with friends before for this reason - unless it's been in my own room with private en-suite, but I've never made it known, and normally blame it on my snoring. I really want to celebrate my friends hen weekend with her, but don't know how to get past this, if I just book and it happens then it will end up ruining my weekend as I'll be a nervous wreck.

Not even sure if there is any advice anyone could give, but just felt like I had to talk to people who understand :weep:

Hi MC 1972. It woukd be such a shame to miss out on your friends hen do. However hard it may be for you I would talk to your friend about yr anxiety. Maybe there is a way you can work round this whilst your away to relieve your anxiety. All the best.

Hey hun,

Are you being treated at all?
I've just started meds for GAD and Emeto.
You have time to get it managed perhaps?

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It really is an awful phobia to have.

I suppose you have to keep thinking that you’ll feel worse if you don’t go.
Are they all in their 40’s too? Maybe that means they’re a bit better than in their 20’s?!
Also, perhaps you could just tell them of your fear? You may discover that you’re not the only one? And in these days, where mental health is such a modern topic, you’ll probably find a lot of understanding.

Failing that, start learning coping techniques. Do you have any that you currently use?


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