Travel Anxiety

I semi impulsively decided to go on my first big solo trip. The idea was brought up and all of a sudden everything was booked and I feel like I never had the opportunity to process that it was actually happening. My anxiety got considerably worse throughout the pandemic and I lost a lot of friends resulting in my support system being mostly made up of my family. I am on day two of my 4 month trip and feel so anxious and just the anticipation of being alone for so long is freaking me out. I am so angry at myself because I feel like I would've been able to do this before the pandemic. I feel like I would've had so much less anxiety, been so much more outgoing, and just overall happier. I feel so bad telling my parents about how I am feeling because I don't want them to worry about me and they also are so optimistic about me doing this that I don't want to let them down. I have always loved traveling with others and previously thought it was something I was really good at, but now seeing how much my mental health has impacted my passions is a horrible realization. I don't want to look back on this trip and regret either going home early or not doing everything I want to because of anxiety. I just don't know what to do and how to overcome this. I feel like I really messed up by isolating myself, as this time it is my fault I'm alone.

I guess I just wanted to know if anyone had advice or have been in a similar situation.

I've travelled all over the world, mostly with my husband and son, but I have travelled several times to Germany on my own and with my son when he was very young. I also had to travel back from Sri Lanka on my own.

I know it feels very scary right now, but things will get better. The longest we were away was 3 months when I was 20. Even though I was with my husband (boyfriend at the time) I wasn't in a position to be totally reliant on him, I had to make my own choices and do my own thing to a certain degree.

What I found helped (and which still helps me today), is to set a routine for the day and try and stick to it. Always have a book on you, if you feel uncomfortable somewhere you can sit and read (or pretend to). Write a diary of all you do and how your feeling. Personally I would try not to phone home too much, make it regular, but not all the time. When I was 20, there were no mobile phones so I had to make a real effort to phone home. Every time I did phone it made me miss home more.

Be open to speaking to other travellers. I don't know what type of accommodation you're going to be stopping in, but youth hostels are very sociable places and people will generally speak to each other. Actually generally wherever people travelling are there are sociable people.

I also find wherever I am stopping I kind of make it feel like my space. Wherever you are you can also do the relaxation techniques you usually do at home.

It's early in your trip so you're still finding your feet. It will get easier with time.