So lost

hi all my chronic pain journey started 3 years ago. I won't go into all the details but I've finally had enough and begged my doctor to help me. I did loads of lab work and everything came back normal except I was ANA positive, 1 1280 titer homogeneous pattern and a slightly elevated esr. They followed up with a full autoimmune panel and said as of right now no indication of autoimmune diseases but thats not to say one won't eventually develop. My fear is that I have a cancer that they haven't detected yet but they keep saying they don't recommend any screenings other than the normal age appropriate ones. Im also very sad that I could eventually end up with an autoimmune disease and scared because my symptoms are so bad now, I can't imagine what it would be like to have lupus or something. I'm just scared, sad and at a loss of what to do next. My dr is going to help me put together a wellness plan with nutrition, acupuncture etc but the cancer fear is so strong! Does anyone else have experience with that high of an ANA?

The person I know who has lupus just gets on with her life.

Having an actual disease won't necessarily rob you of life and good memories, but health anxiety will.

I've had fibromyalgia for many years now - and I know about pain. I also know about health anxiety. This condition was triggered after my mother died suddenly 9 years ago. The bewildering amount of symptoms over the next years convinced me it had to be cancer, and I had to be riddled with it. But there's never been any sign of actual cancer. Why cancer? Well my parents both had it. I can discount Dad's because his was prostate, but Mum's was ovarian, and it's been a thorn in my arse ever since. But I know what the symptoms are, and I get screened regularly - so I am being proactive. Also, my mother survived the cancer. Some of my maternal great-grandparents etc died of reproductive cancers (ERMAGERD!!) and that's what my brain homed in on when I clapped eyes on their death certificates.

However..

Two things.

One, they were like, really old when they died..

Two, they died before the NHS was a 'thing'.

Why is cancer such a fear with you?

I mean you nailed it, 3 of my grandparents died of cancer. 2 of them weren't that old though but that definitely puts things in perspective. I've also smoked for 20 years, have quit but know that it takes a long time to reverse the damage and am riddled with guilt that if I do have autoimmune or cancer its my own fault for smoking for so long. How do you manage your pain? Mine is so bad sometimes that I can't believe nothing is wrong with me. Do you also have a high positive ANA?