WORD OF WARNING .........
Just a word of warning to everybody out there (I'm a firm believer in learning from others mistakes - in this case my own) :D
This weekend it was my friends 21st birthday party. An old friend was coming up from down south, and asked to stop at my house.
Over the Xmas holidays I have done some serious thinking, and realised that changes to my routine and automatic negative thinking are my personal weak spots. I know that I should be challenging these, but remembering the little steps advice, I arranged for her to stop at another friends house.
However, there was a problem with bathroom space, and a request was made for her to get ready at ours. This bothered me all day, and I nearly pretended that I hadn't got her text requesting this favour, as I was getting in a right old stew.
I thought of all sorts of excuses, and didn't like the idea that there would be somebody else in the house if I was having a freak out about going out!!!!
Finally, I gave myself a mental slap around the face and phoned her to say come round at 6.00.
I was worked up for the hour before she came, and whilst she was getting ready.
Another mental slap ensued, and I realised that I was just being plain stupid. Negative thinking was MAKING me anxious. It wasn't anxiety causing my negative thinking. And there is a BIG difference.
Finally, I squared up to myself, and using some coping skills (some learnt through CBT and some from this site), I left the house at 8.30 with my friend all dolled up and ready to party.
Unfortunatley, my coping skills for the night were a hairband around my wrist, which I flicked everytime my head went silly, and muttering YFDI under my breath.
Even more unfortunately, after a few too many vodkas (very bad, but you're friends only 21 once), the YFDI muttering got louder, and I had given myself multiple contusions on my wrist by not realising my own strength (or that of the hair band). For some reason, people began to give me plenty of space - can't think why!
Even worse, I forgot to remove the hairband (discreetly hidden under my wrist watch) and woke up this morning convinced I'd had a stroke as I had lost use of my arm completely.
Five minutes of panic later, I realised that I had simply cut the circulation to my arm off with a badly placed hair band.
So the moral of the story is - yes you can do it, you just need to believe in yourself. Totally. And never go to bed with a pony tail band around your wrist, and expect mobility in the morning!
Charlie
