dont know how to cope with this

Is there anyone on here who has come off seroxat and stayed off? I'm trying and so hard,but i really dont think i can cope anymore.
I thought i was doing so well- reduced down to 5mg a day (on liquid form) had stopped smoking and drinking, started doing some voluntary work, training for a half marathon this spring. But the past week ive totally started to fall apart, i feel like im loosing my grip on reality, feel so depressed i dont know what to do, im so scared im gonna try and hurt myself- i havnt felt this bad since i was a kid, getting scary thougths and obsessions and am terrified im gonna act on them.
I called my doctor this morning, but they cant see me till wednesday.
Im so tired of this, constant battle just to struggle through each day, i just need it to stop.
I have no-one that i feel i can talk to, sorry this post is so doom and gloom, i just needed to get it out somehow.
pia.

I guess im looking for some advice. Docs are useless, should i give in and go back on seroxat? (ie increase dose) but if i do this i feel like i may as well give up on life. Feel like i only half a person on this drug- no motivation, subdued emotions, lack of interest in anything. I just want to be myself again. x

Hi Pia

i started taking seroxat in 1995 and stayed on it for 14 years. I managed to come off if successfully, although it was horrendous in April 2009. I was well for 15 months but have since had a relapse and the anxiety returned with a vengeance. You seem to be suffering badly, go to you GP as soon as you can and explain how you feel, it may mean having to take meds again i wish you well and hope you fell better soon.

Hi Pia

May be you reduced too fast and need to increase just an itsy bit so that you can reduce again. Either way talk to your doctor, Wednesday is not that far away. I don't think it is giving in to be honest with yourself and think "oooo perhaps I am going too fast" or stuff like that. In fact I think it shows a good understanding of what is happening and so that way you can control it.

Oh and best of luck with the half marathon...now that is something that I think is totally mad...I mean why run 13 miles when you can get in the car???(!) You go for it.

Take care Thyme

Thanks Elaine, Finding this so hard. I dont wanna go back on the seroxat (as in increase my dose) as i hate how it makes me feel- so numb and apathetic. but am having such a bad time coming off it - crying, depression, obsessional thoughts, suicidal thoughts. i just need some peace. the way i feeling right now, i wanna just end it all. my mind racing, i m in a nightmare. x

thanks thyme :) maybe i did reduce too fast. I just hate seroxat sooo much, maybe im getting carried away and doin things too fast. Just want to feel normal again- but looking back, dont think ive ever felt 'normal' just wanna be med free i guess, feel like i can cope on my own. Spent all day cryin, gonna try spend this evening NOT crying. I know theres good things in life.gonna try stay positive, thankyou for your comments. Love to you all:hugs: xx