Guilt about something I did when me and my boyfriend first got together.

So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. I really really like him. He's a lovely guy and even though it's early days, I truly see a future with him. In April after liking each other for ages and a month of sexual tension, we slept together for the first time and then the next day I went to visit my hometown for Easter, the days following I still felt single. I still had Tinder etc because we'd only just slept together, I didn't see it that we were together. I really liked him, and I had liked him for ages but at this point I didn't see it in a serious way.

So I went on a night out with my old high-school friends a day later and no, I didn't kiss or sleep with anyone but I did flirt with this guy and flirty-danced with him. Nothing more than that and it was after that I realised how much I liked my now-boyfriend and I deleted Tinder and we met up again when I returned back. After that we built up our relationship by 'seeing each-other' and we made our relationship 'official' in June.

I've felt pretty bad about it ever since. I don't know why I did it. I feel guilty that I saw myself as single in the first place. I knew how much I liked him and I shouldn't have done that. On the other hand I try to rationalize it and think that 1. We had only slept together, we hadn't set any boundaries on what we were 2. It was only 2 days after, so it's not a big deal 3. It was only a dance! It wasn't sex or even a kiss.

I don't think I'm ever going to tell him, but I feel guilty cause I also feel like I'm keeping secrets from him, he's also extremely understanding and probably wouldn't care at all, but then I wonder if I did, would things change and he wouldn't be able to trust me.

I think the aim of this post is to just ask if there is any reason to feel so guilty about it and ask for your advice.

No reason whatsoever to feel guilty about it.
I’m glad you’re happy & enjoying your relationship.

Don't feel guilty. You didn't do anything sinister and you're happy with your new bf. Dancing and a bit of flirting with a guy is nothing. You sound very happy. Enjoy it.

Hey st

Tinder is a dating app right? No problem with that, but it seems you don't know a whole lot about this bf now.

I don't want to sound like your mom or nothing, but have you told him about your anxiety problems?

The only reason I ask is because to tell him now would have two advantages. The first is that it will be a good test as to how much he cares about you. The second is that, if you do ever get another wobbler, you feel for ed to try and hide it from him and pretend you're fine.

Hope it all works out well for you both. I'm actually speaking from experience here.

Charlie

Absolutely not, forget about the other incident (if you can call it that) and enjoy your new relationship :)

As everyone has said, you haven't done anything wrong. From what you have said it sounds like it was a loose no strings thing at the start therefore not truly exclusive.

Your anxiety on here seems to concentrate on relationship issues as you posted about worrying you had done similiar with your last BF. There is an element of confession compulsion in here which is common in ROCD type themes. And you have issues forgiving yourself whether they are perceived things or not so self esteem seems to be in need of some work so you trust yourself more.

What do you do to work on your anxiety?

My half sister got paranoid schizophrenic. Before she got married we pleaded with her husband to be not to marry her for his own good. That's kinda screwy. It's normally a family pleading with their daughter not to marry some guy.

He never took our advice. And so after a while she got pregnant followed by post natal depression and ended up in hospital. The guy married again. Her daughter run away from home because of stepmother. She got into drugs and crime. No idea what become of her.