Doing Terrible

I've been seeing a therapist for anxiety for awhile now and I've made progress, especially with HA but it's been so hard. We moved this summer, my oldest has been having behavioral issues, and it's been a difficult transition with everyone--I'm also homeschooling both kids. My HA decided to return with a vengeance.

Skin cancer that's spread has been my number one worry and I'm constantly poking and prodding my body for signs "it's" spread and falling down the Google rabbit hole. I'm also scared to see a doctor to be told it's advanced. The worry is probably unfounded but it's ruining my life. I can't enjoy anything and I constantly feel sick. I stabbed at the skin on my mole or growth (looks very similar to a dermatofibroma) and the dark part blistered over, pus came out, and now it looks like normal skin but with the bump. Can cancer do this? I fell down the old Google hole with that one, too.

I just needed to vent but any kind words are appreciated.

Your health anxiety hasn't returned, your health anxiety behaviour has returned.

Moving, home schooling, all extremely stressful and compounded by Covid and lockdowns, so this is a reaction to stress that has manifested as health anxiety. Try and remember that HA isn't a 'thing', it doesn't linger around waiting to attack you. It's a behaviour.

They problem is the checking and Googling. You need to stop doing those things immediately, and you'll soon start to feel better again. That's really all there is to it. Don't make a big deal out of not doing those things, don't give yourself the mental excuse that 'it's hard', just stop doing them.

Nobody falls down the Google hole, they make a conscious decision to Google, and then do it.

Thank you. I needed to hear that.

Ooh this isn’t my thread but I needed to hear that too. Thanks. And hope you are feeling better OP.

Not sure if it helps, but I forced myself to live with the discomfort of not Googling immediately. Eventually the urge goes away with the discomfort.

Also I eventually learned that Google is full of crap. Things that it said were for sure going to kill me never did.

Here’s what I’ve learned. When I go into a spiral and a relapse as I call it, I worry about absolutely everything. It’s insane. I will analyze my tongue color, are my lips blue or pink, and I will google. And when I google, I promise you I will find horrible diseases related to these feared conditions. I will ignore the sound advice and rational information and head on over to the horrible and terrible things. If I read about something. If I see a commercial. All of it sets me off. Currently I’m in a bout also and it’s absolute hell. You’re not alone. This will pass. I promise it will.