Originally Posted by
Buster70
Hi all , feeling shite again , on the face of it I should be happy , work has been good for the last 18 months ,we have a roof over our heads and a flat by the sea but things are just shite , we can’t go through a week without a big argument and it starts from nothing , we haven’t been away for the last three weeks as we rented out the flat to get a bit of money back , this week we should be going away but it’s all gone tits up again , I can’t stop obsessing over why she won’t come near me and it causes friction , I know it’s not just the menopause, most of the time she is just distant or angry which makes me feel unwanted useless and ugly , we both had this dream of being happy at the coast and maybe moving there but now I feel I’ve thrown thousands of pounds at something that will go to waste and never make us happy.
I woke up this morning at 4.30 feeling tearful and low , this evening we sat and watched a film together then one comment and all hell broke loose , Ive spent the evening wondering around the town in the dark trying to stop the dark thoughts that are overwhelming me , I know if I try and talk to her it will make things worse .
Everything I used to enjoy and hold dear is gone now I’m just left with all the shit and feelings you don’t want , I can’t sleep , I spend my days in pain and anguish, anything I look forward to gets taken away , I walked to my brothers house tonight because I needed someone to talk me down but I couldn’t bring myself to knock on his door , tearing up again so I’ll stop this depressing post .