New and looking for support ☹️️

Hi I’m new here and reaching out as I am totally stupid and feeling totally disappointed at myself! :doh:

I have lived with low self esteem, no confidence and GAD for going on 20 years, I finally realised I needed help earlier this year so I saw my doctor and I am finally starting intensive CBT with a lovely therapist ….But it’s going to be a long process.

Anyway, I’m struggling today. I need someone to talk to to just stop me going mad. I said something to a supplier at work today I shouldn’t have mentioned, I then got the conversation back and smoothed it over but I just keep going over and over and over the conversation in my head and feel sick to my stomach about it! I feel like crying inside but can’t as my husband and daughter are sat here and I feel like crying and crying and that I’m going to loose my job and I am stupid and pathetic and don’t deserve how good my company and boss are to me. :frown:

I’m also feeling poop cos I keep forgetting things, all the time!! I am on some medication to help with the physical feelings I get with my anxiety and worry so I’m not sure if it’s that, or that I’m just rubbish at things argh I can’t stop thinking what I am thinking and it’s driving me mad!:weep:

Sorry to go on and on I just need an outlet or I am going to go mad!

Sorry x

Hiya SelfDoubter and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

Hi,

First off can I just say that you really don't need to apologise for feeling the way you do or for writing it all out. Sometimes writing about it can help you to feel better or make more sense. Plus people can help then.

The fact that you're getting help is definitely a good sign that you're strong even though it may not feel it. It takes alot of courage to admit you need help coping with something. I'm still trying to find a way to cope with all of my problems myself!

If your company and boss are good to you then there must be a reason for it. One mistake shouldn't result in you losing your job or anyone thinking any differently of you. It's only human to make mistakes and i'm pretty sure you're a human (feel free to tell me if you're an alien lol).

You're not rubbish at things and it's normal to think too much with anxiety so you're not on your own. It drives me nuts and I feel like i'm losing my mind half of the time. You just need to find something that calms you down and levels you out a bit so to speak. For me it's reading a good book or playing a game that makes me use my brain!

Feel free to drop me a message any time :)