Hello. Im not sure which forum to post this in...

so ill post here. Ok wher do i start? the background:

in nov 06 i needed a root canal, dentist attempted it, didnt work so as hed aggravated gum gave me antib's. Went xmas shopping & felt like was having a panic attack, hadnt eaten so grabbed some coke thinking needed sugar,later felt like what i can only describe as
My blood feeling “prickly” I still had over an hr left at work & boss wouldn’t let me go home, I was really panicking couldn’t see or anything felt like I was drunk! Mum & dad rushed me to dr & they said the antib’s had given me a urine infection that leaked into my blood!!!
In Jan I had the most awful flu & a horrid cough! My wedding was in may that year & all of a sudden id have constant panic attacks-even if the TV was too loud I couldn’t breathe! 2 months later(!) was diagnosed with pleurisy from the flu-the reason I couldn’t breathe! Mum thought it was the stress of wedding planning
I didn’t know why at the time that’s why I had the panic attacks!!
Then and still to the present day I have like a weird choking feeling in my throat which ive now learned after all this tim occurs when im stressed or eat fruit (?) ive had camera in throat to stomach and down my nose & the drs cant find anything-they thought it was reflux for a while as symptoms were similar to heartburn, the only thing I can find which is similar & they agreed is “pharyngeal spasm” and the only cure for that is botox!!!
Then in September I was diagnosed with work related depression & was signed off for 6 weeks & eventually left for my health then I got gastroenteritis!
Xmas 07 was the worst ever! Thanks to my work messing up my reference id waited t3 months to start a really good well paid job & they had to employ someone else as my work took too long L As you can imagine this didn’t help my depression.

I started a new job in Feb but it wasn’t the job for me so im now waiting on CRB clearances before I start.

Anyway this whole time ive still had anxiety & dr has put me on antidepressants but TBH I think its more anxiety that’s causing the depression! And the matter of not having had a stable job for a while. Im on the list for counselling (16 weeks wait!)
Due to having one illness after another for so long ive also developed terrible hypochondria-twice today ive had a pain where my heart is im hoping it was wind but a terrible panic comes over me & I think im gonna die of a heart attack!!
I get awful palpitations-have just had a stomach bug & am terrified of being sick-luckily I opnly was twice but my breathing played up (I get shallow breathing a lot) and my vision keeps going blurry
I also have a fear of losing loved ones-my husband rides 20 miles to work each day & im constantly thinking what if he falls off & gets run over!
This whole thing is ruining my life and our marriage its not even our 1st anniversary yet, I just cry all the time but I cant help it!

Well done if you’ve got this far im sorry its so long just felt you need to know the whole story.

Hi stresshead... OMG you have really been thru the mill recently...im so not surprised that you are suffering with anxiety and depression, i don't know many people who wouldn't be.....How long have you been taking the antidepressants for?, cos when i started mine recently my anxiety went thru the roof for a bit, but has settled now... could this be the same for you???.... you could well be right about the anx causing the depression... it is certainly related for me.... the depression followed the anxiety..... i know its a long wait for CBT, im still on the list too but i really think that the worst of this will soon be behind you..once you get the meds and counselling sorted, things will get better for you... the first year of marriage is tough but with what you have been thru its gonna make it doubly so....Hang in there a little longer, give yourself a little more time and i am sure that you will get thru this ... you are not alone here, a lot of people will be able to relate to your symptoms and fears...
Take care
:bighug1:
Rachel

Hey Rachel-thanks for the reply-er yeah you could say that! ive been on them abiout 3 weeks now but I put myself on 1 a day not 2 as the one i took in the morning made me weird all day which made me feel miserable & sleepy. I just take the 1 at night but i have to take it RIGHT before i feel im about to drop off which is a bit of a task-if i dont get the timimg right,ill be up all nigh feelng nauseous!
I had the anxiety before i started taking them & tbh i think de-anxiety pil;s would be more beneficial as i say the anxiety plays up my breathing.

Thanks so much fopr your lovely words-brought a tear to my eye.:blush:
Is so nice to see im not alone with what i call my "silly" worries about dying etc.

If I can try help ypu please let me know :bighug1:
G x

You've certainly had a stressful year! :hugs:

Getting married is a stressful experience in itself but with the job situation and illnesses you've had I can see why you would focus on anxiety symptoms.

Anxiety and stress always lead to a depressed state because we feel trapped with no escape.

The medications may help to ease your symptoms.

Given time though I feel your stress will begin to lower especially with the support of counselling and in turn your anxiety levels will drop too so you won't focus so much on health worries and you won't then feel so depressed.

I just think at the moment you need to be patient, find something you enjoy doing and look for ways to relax and chill. You've been through a very stressful rough period but life Will become easier for you in time.:hugs: