I need a kick up the backside please

Guys wonder if you could helped out here. I'm 20 years old and was a firefighter but I got withdrawn because I had severe anxiety and depression for 6 months over a asbestos factory fire.
I have had anxiety since I was 13 over many things and was bulliwd for my looks which affected me badly. ( I get complimented on my lucks now alot) but the doubt is still there.
Today I went out with a girl for lunch and I'm not sure if I was pathetic because I havnt been able to have a normal fun upbringing and havnt leaned the advanced skill of being interesting.
Any tips on how to reinvent myself and start Johnny 2.0?
Ive started running today to get hench and I actually feel motivated again just hope I can keep it up
Cheers much love x

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I think you just need to be you. People will like you for who you are, not because of interesting tales (although I'm sure you have a few from firefighting). Think of it this way - do you choose your friends because of their careers or hobbies, or because you like them as a person? Taking up running is a great idea to boost your confidence, and your physical and mental health. Could you join a running club? Park run? Something like mindfulness meditation might be helpful, to ease you into feeling a bit more comfortable in your own skin.

Are you getting any professional help with your anxiety and depression? I can't imagine how difficult firefighting must be and I'm sure it must be very traumatic at times, in addition to having suffered bullying at school. It sounds like you're pretty down on yourself and could maybe use some help to get you to like yourself a bit more.

I agree with Dying Swan. Johnny 2 will become Johnny 3, then 4, then back to 3.4 and then you'll be 50.

The issue here is confidence, which doesn't come from looks, achievements or status.

Getting professional help is the first step, as bullying often leads to mild trauma and reliving of events. That's a mental cycle that can be broken with help, it's something you may need to move on from.

Thank you for the reply guys.
To take time out of your day to help me is soo lovely so thank you x
I feel like meeting this girl ( even though she is just a friend) gave me alot of confidence and I want to keep going the way I am.
I feel great I'm training and eating good. I'm happy and making money doing 2 jobs I enjoy and I am making money to go and save and also treat people.
Life isn't perfect and we.do need to accept what we have and I am extremely lucky.
I write things in my diary I'm great full for and every morning I'm reading it and it seems to be helping.
It's easier to talk to you people online because you can relate and your support is mint x


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