So I have Health Anxiety..... what now? am I going to die!?!?

this thread is excellent. I can relate to so much of this its unreal. my fears started in august just as yours but looking back over my life its clear to me i am a huge worrier and i think leaving work and having more time on my hands has led to my worries spinning out of control. I used t get a pain in my body and say 'oh well' now if i get a pain its an indicator of a life threatening illness and a sure way of stealing me from my 7 year old little girl. Im a single mum and now feel the pressure to 'stay alive' greatly where as before my death never crossed my mind. more recently my little girl who usually does not stop eating has pretty much stopped and said that eating makes her feel sick. the old me would have said itss nerves for here christmas play and excitement over christmas itself, the new me says she has something terrible and im going to lose her. its awful, i want to be me again. i used to laugh all the time and be fun to be around, now i feel as though people are actively avoiding me. i want my life back and by god i mean to take it back.

Hi Michelle,
thank you for reading my post and responding. I can, in turn, relate to everything you have written. You know, now that you say it, the being home more thing is very possibly a cause of my heightened anxiety. I have 3 children and the littlest one and I are home everyday together. It is hard not having conversations with someone who can engage you, or give feedback. LOL Though she seems to love any talk that has anything to do with peek-a-boo, ABCs, and the like. over and over and over again.
When my anxiety sets in, like these last two weeks, I find that my patience for her and her needs is so depleted. I just know I am not up to par with my normal mommy self. I have little doubt she can tell, because she seems to be more cranky and whiny herself. Oh the whining, when my anxiety is on, the whining is about enough to make me want to climb the walls.
I can also relate to your comments about your daughter. My 5 year old says normal kid things to me like, "my tummy hurts" and I find myself in a mental frenzy about what could be wrong. Not the obvious, most likely causes, but HUGE SCARY causes.
All of these things in a day just fuel the anxiety and cause that snowball effect I keep mentioning. (that's the best way I can think of to describe it)
It can be even more intense with the youngest, because she doesn't talk yet and I cannot ask her 1 million questions like, "dose this hurt?" "are you dizzy" "do you feel this way?" etc.
I think being home more, with less interaction with adults, leaves me with a lot more time in my own head. When the anxiety is strong, my own head IS NOT a safe place.

I appreciate you explaining how you feel you used to be before all the anxiety. I felt kinda like an ego-hound when I listed all the things about me that are positive. I wanted to illustrate for anyone reading it, that I am not someone with super low self esteem. (though I used to be when I was much younger, I am 34 now) I wanted to show that I can be incredibly rational and aware, but that rational and awareness seems to do little on its own to combat the anxiety and fear.
Anyhow, after I wrote it and read it again I started worrying (go figure) a little that I may have come across as totally full of myself. And shoot maybe I am and don't know it, but I don't think so.
:blush:
About your daughter, I don't know if this can help you at all, but I think you might be on to something there with the rational thought process of it being near the holidays, and nerves and anxiousness/excitement over that. Also, I notice in my children that they go in cycles of being ravenous or peckish. Seems to ebb and flow. I assume that the ravenous stage is during a growth spurt.
Hope that helps.

As far as my updates to how this is working out for me. I am happy to report that this morning has been the best morning by far in these two weeks. Go figure, my tongue/throat thing feels better, and it's a great example to myself that the "two week wait" plan is a good one. It was conscious work (and I mean WORK) yesterday to keep the voices at bay over whether I had a tumor on my tongue or something. I also have to be honest with you, that I poked and prodded it, and looked with a flashlight. This kinda breaks the "wait it out" rule, but I didn't allow myself to get as worked up as I have felt early in the week, or last week. Had my tongue felt like this last week, I probably would have gone straight to the clinic...... or WORSE google!
I am happy to report that the last thing I googled was "anxiety". I HAVE NOT googled anything since. Not even about my tongue.
I have been doing my morning affirmations and distraction plans. They seem to have helped. Writing here is helping too, as well (and maybe more so) hearing from others like me.
thank you again!!

End of another day, and I am happy to report that the anxiety is dropping drastically.
Granted, I am still worrying, and there are still voices that tell me that myself, my children, my husband, one of us...... is probably really afflicted with something horrible and don't know it.
It isn't helping that my husband has come down with some kind of a bug.
Fever last night, indigestion that won't let him lay down. He says he feels bloated and bound up. Feels chills, then sweating. Body aches all over. Keep telling myself, "he just has the flu"

The rash is back on one of the children. She says it doesn't itch or hurt. I noticed it just after the bath, so the warm water may have made it look more red then it would before the bath. I applied the zinc cream that we were using before. I will check it tomorrow, if I still see it Monday she's going back to the doctor. I just don't know what it can be, and the doc doesn't seem too concerned. It isn't strep cause I made them test for that. I dunno. Trying not to worry about it.

Remembering the "wait it out" and "breathe" also did my affirmations, "what is right in my life" twice today, trying to make the positive thoughts stick.
I do not mean to offend anyone when I say this, but being new around here (and maybe my opinion or observations don't mean much cause I am new) but, when I read a lot of the posts I wonder how many of us who post in this forum are really, I mean REALLY trying to be more positive.
Negative thoughts are going to rob us of the happiness day to day, of however many days anyone of us might have left.
I am starting to think to get well from health anxiety, top of the list has got to be to really, truly, not want to feel to yucky, stressed out, and worried sick all the time.

I want to be more positive. I want more positive thoughts in one day than negative ones. I wanna fight the good fight in my brain. I want to be well.

Another note, I have not googled anything else. Not my husband's symptoms, nor the rash.
One more day down...... I will begin another day tomorrow.

good plan i will keep them in mind =]

Well, it has been a few days now. I gave my word that I would check in from time to time here and keep updated on how things are working out for me. I wrote a couple days back on a different post, fell off the wagon a bit, if you will.
Other than then (that day) all and all I have been feeling much better.

Sticking too my plan of action, remembering the breathing, walking more, distraction techniques, and of course daily affirmations. I am trying so very hard to switch my focus from negative to postive, and take control, decide each day-throughout the day, how I want to feel.

As I said, it hasn't been perfect, but I wasn't expecting an overnight fix. I will say that considering the holidays so close, money is tight, and everyone in my household coming down with some kind of flu (other than me) I am amazeed at how in control of my feelings/focus I have been. I am pretty happy with myself.:)
I am still a little concerned about the spot on my back (I made a seperate post about that early last week) it still isn't looking quite right. Almost lilke there is a small patch of dry or wrinkled skin, that I can feel the texture when I touch it. Anyhow, the responses I got to that post have helped greatly!! so thank you if you did. I am reassured that whatever it is it can probably wait a while to be checked (until after the holidays) and likely if it is anything it can be dealt with in pretty short order. I haven't noticed any change or growth, and with the reassurance of some around here, that has been enough to put me at ease.
I really think this plan is going to workout for me in the long run. :D
I may have some more days of feeling the anxiety (in fact I know I will) but I am just gonna keep doing what I can, everything I can. I do not like living my life feeling the way I was before my plan.
To date, I have not googled anything other than christmas shopping, a health inquiry about my dog (also a bad idea) and have managed to stay away from any sort of self diagnosis. My medical dictionaries are officially collecting dust!!!

Lovely to hear, really is! I've been having a rough time of it the past couple of days but having a re-read of this thread has inspired me to keep going and ignoring!

Keep up the good work, you're doing amazingly well. :) x

Thank you so much Pokerface!!
Your encouragement and kindness means a lot, truely!!

I do feel like, so far so good, and I know I am not out of the woods yet (remember to think positive) but I am still a little anxious about when the anxiety returns. Horrible, my anxiety has anxiety. lol
Trying to think positive, but be reasonable with myself too. This way (hopefully) I won't get too easily discouraged.
:bighug1:thank you HUGE

just reading through your post - i am gonna try some of your tips too.

i had 11 days off over christmas - so i didn't go to work. My Health anxiety is back with a vengence.

to say i hate it is an understatement - these thoughts are ruining my life.

thats all they are though - thoughts.

I have made this thread sticky as I think it is very good for HA sufferers

Just wanted to say Thank you for this thread - i did not skip to the shortcut of your original post i read the whole thing over and then again, i have very similar symptoms to you , they started since the birth of my baby i would say 10 months ago but gradualy and i only realised it was so bad about 2months ago when i was worrying so much that i cant even count the amount of doctors,herbalists,chiropracters and the like that i went to. I needed to seek help it got to a point where i coudnt function properly i lost a lot of weight and coudnt look after my baby - im in the process of hopefully ending this dark period but its not over - yes i can function throught the day and look after my baby on my own and cook suppers but i still worry excessively about every new symptom,ache,spot or anything of the like. Your post was really comforting to know that im the only one thats not crazy - not that i wish anyone else should be going thru what i went thru - but at least i know its got a name and thats called health anxiety. its funny how you can tell yourself its anxiety yet still worry about a symptom that its something dangerous - at the same time! anyways hope all of you out there are getting better
and thanks again