Could really do with some help and advice 😞

I’m pregnant and due in June, but over the past few weeks I’ve been growing incredibly anxious thinking about giving birth.

Now I did suspect anxiety would rear its ugly head at some point, but I’d been doing so well up until about two weeks ago.

My fears are all around dying during or after childbirth. I have spoken to the midwife about my anxiety and she has said I can be referred to the specialist natal mental health team which I think I will do but the only issue is I’ve had therapy during lockdown and didn’t find that worked particularly well online for me personally. This was before I was pregnant.

I just want some advice from anyone who’s been through similar - how did you cope with actually giving birth and controlling the anxiety? It doesn’t help that everything I read says about how important it is for mum and baby to be “relaxed” but my anxiety has been awful this year already and even when going to scans I feel a normal level of anxiety about the baby which now results in shaking and feeling sick because of how bad the anxiety has got physically this year! 😩

I try to think logically and think no one I know has had anything terrible happen to them and it’s what women’s bodies were designed to do, but in the back of my mind this just means I’ll be that person it happens to.

I’ve emailed about a hypnobirthing course which the midwife also recommended, but will this be helpful if I need a c section? I have a couple of things that may make me more likely to need one.

I would really appreciate any words of wisdom - thank you!

I had anxiety over the same issue throughout my pregnancy. I will say though that when the time came that I was actually in labor, I was way too focused on the labor itself to worry about anything else. Anticipatory anxiety can often be worse than the actual event anxiety. Try to practice some good self care during your pregnancy to help lower your stress levels and just manage this anxiety as best you can. Stress and worry isn’t good for you or your baby - stay strong and when the time comes for you to give birth, I really don’t think you’ll be worrying about this anymore.

Thanks for replying glassgirlw ☺️

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Originally Posted by cry

It doesn’t help that everything I read says about how important it is for mum and baby to be “relaxed” but my anxiety has been awful this year already and even when going to scans I feel a normal level of anxiety about the baby which now results in shaking and feeling sick because of how bad the anxiety has got physically this year! 

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Congratulations and all that. :D

I've heaved out two babies and had one removed via C Section. I was 17 with my first, and VERY anxious, but in the end gas and air was my friend, also pethidine. I nodded off at one point and came around to my husband wolfing a Mars Bar and George Michael's 'Father Figure' on the radio - which was sort of apt. In my experience, the anxiety of the unknown was far worse than the reality. I was in various states of coherency because it was a long labour but it was all worth it when the little dude was placed in my arms.

Son number 2 was much quicker (thanks to my mother's Sunday lunch with sprouts and cabbage) and I think I only had a couple of paracetamol before he was making an appearance, and I was on the good drugs with the C Section. :yesyes:

Top tip - breathing slowly and deeply really does help.

Also, swearing at husband/partner helps no end...

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I try to think logically and think no one I know has had anything terrible happen to them and it’s what women’s bodies were designed to do, but in the back of my mind this just means I’ll be that person it happens to.

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It's nature. This is what your body is designed to do and it would do it without medical intervention. Once labour starts, you will probably find that your anxiety eases but the midwives are awesome and they will help you every step of the way.

If you have to have a section, it's very quick and it just means that recovery is a bit longer than the vaginal birth -which you can use to your advantage to have people doing all the housework. :yesyes:

You're going to be ok lovely. X

I’m sorry you are going through this.
I was a high risk pregnancy, and my anxiety was pretty high during it. I did no preparation because I didn’t want to be freaked out further! I was induced and then had an EMCS. I do remember saying to the midwife to look after my partner if I died from it. But honestly, you are SO looked after my the midwives, I couldn’t really have felt safer. Really for someone with anxiety, being checked over regularly is actually quite reassuring [emoji23].

My fears were for my baby really, not so much me. She was perfect, and still is an absolute blessing. Me however, I really must get a handle on my anxiety.

I found listening to relaxation podcasts and clips very helpful. I joined a pregnancy forum where I was surrounded by people going through the same thing as me! That might be good for you if you haven’t already, because being pregnant in a pandemic must be so much harder.

Watch lots of telly. I think I watched non stop hart of Dixie and modern family for weeks, and that really helped.

You’re going to do great and be great x


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Thank you both so much for taking the time to reply @NoraB and @Scass ☺️

All three of you have made me feel better. I really struggle at this time of year with depression and anxiety anyway, and obviously 2020 has frankly been crap so it’s surprising it’s taken me this long to feel this worried about it. This is why I planned a spring / summer baby too, knowing I’d be early days when the late December / january blues hit. Hopefully by spring I’ll be feeling better about it all anyway.

I’m sure you’ll be fine. Spring is a wonderful time of year. My daughters birthday is next week which is a bit tough, but it’s also absolutely fine. We are doing a zoom birthday party this year!

We are here if you need to talk. X


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