So weary

This is my first message in this forum. I have really bad health anxiety and depression, the result of being emotionally abused for nearly forty years by my late husband. My depersonalization isn’t as severe as many of you describe here in this forum. It does, however, scare me.

I live alone. I hired someone to come be with me for a few hours each weekday to help with the loneliness. That has helped. However, I still get the “is this real? Do I really exist?” feelings a few times a week.

Recently, i’ve had other things happen that scare me more. Today I had my heat mask on for my dry eyes and I felt like my body shrunk. I didn’t like it shrunk super small, but maybe about to 75%. I had a similar incident a few weeks ago where I just felt like my body was a little bigger than it normally is.

Just had a brain MRI in January because I thought I had a mini-stroke, so I don’t think I have a tumor or anything. I just think I’m experiencing depersonalization.

Have any of you experienced this kind of symptom? If so, what helps? I’m just starting with a new therapist and we’re going to be doing EMDR. Has this helped anybody?

Size distortion can definitely be a symptom of dpdr. Not much helps for me. I've had it for the last 4 months solid. Just trying to go about my life as normally as possible.

Thank you KH for your comment. I’m sorry you are experiencing this too.

Hi Debbie,

I don’t have these experiences but I wanted to send a virtual hug your way.
Do you get any help with your anxiety and symptoms at all?


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Thank you SCass. I go to counseling and take medication. Unfortunately, my issues have not abated. I am trying a new counselor. My problems go deep. I may have to deal with them the rest of my life. I’m going to keep trying though.

Take EMDR at your own pace, Debbie? Make sure you are ready and prepared for what it may unearth x

Pulisa, I’m already delving into ugly places and I haven’t even started yet. My therapist is trying hard to prepare me. I’ve made a little book of pictures of things that comfort me. I’m also letting my friends know I may be needing them.

I am going to keep reminding myself that I am trying everything I can to feel better.

I’m always grateful for your insight. ❤️❤️