Another birthday

Hello,

It's been awhile since I've been on. I've been quite busy with work and I also got a depressive episode which took alot out of me.

It was my birthday yesterday, which is a massive trigger point for me. It was on my birthday, at my party a few years back when I had my first episode. So the weeke leading up to it can be very hard for me, it feels like dooms day. Like oh what's going to happen this year.

Yesterday I had some time to think, since I started experiencing mentally issues alot had happened- and alot happen before I even realised what was happening (there is so tw stuff here so please be mindful for yourself reading). Over the years I've experienced a abuse relationship, I've been sexual abused/raped. I've faced alot of toxic relationship both romantic, family, friendship based. I've had massive issues of self hate, to the point I used to go into panic if I saw myself in a mirror and I couldn't talk to anyone without digging my nails into my pals as I felt so stuipd. I've survived three different attempt as taking my own life- which really kicked my health anixety into full gear. I've dealt with health anixety- which there was some actually things to worry about. I've had many, many episodes. I've struggled with harming myself- the list goes on but I'm still here. I'm still kicking, I'm still waking up every morning- somehow.

Things aren't easy, I still struggle with alot of these things. Health anixety is okay? I have big moments sometimes but no more Google, I haven't seen a doctor in months over it. I try to call myself now- what actually made me make this post was feeling rather hot and sick today but I have better things to put my mind too then thinking about and googling that.

I've gotten my college degree, I've moved country, I have manged to meet some of the most kind people. I wake up every morning (maybe with a pounding heart and feeling uneasy) but I wake up. I'm still here, after everything that's happened I'm still here.

I know this is alot but I turned 24 yesterday and I always used to think I'd never make it this far. Yet here I am, I know there's alot more ahead. I'll be learning to mange my mental health forever.....but I'm here. This is small win for me, personally. Thank you to everyone who's ever taken the write to write to me on here, you have made such a difference to me and my life.

Making it to this birthday, it is a success to me. I hope I have more success in the years to come xx


I hope you're all well xx

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Happy Birthday for yesterday, Sarah...You've made it to 24 despite everything that you've faced over the past few years. Living with demons is so challenging but you have taken them on and dealt with them in whatever ways were possible.It IS all about managing your own mental health but you've shown that you have the resilience to do this despite the setbacks..and there will always be setbacks along the way. Setbacks make you stronger though and give you character. You've done a hell of lot in your young life despite being ill..I particularly admire you being able to move to another country..something which would terrify me!

Enjoy being 24 because you are free to do what you want! happy Birthday again and good to hear from you! xx

Happy Birthday!
I love that you’ve written your achievements and shown how far you’ve come. I’m double your age and haven’t done half as much as you. You have come so far & still have so much to look forward to x


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Happy Birthday Sarah
I Hope you had a lovely birthday and got spoiled
lot.s of love to you
celticlass xxx :bighug1::bighug1: