random intrusive thoughts? intrusive memories, songs, etc? :(

Hi, recently I've had a REALLY bad spike in my anxiety and OCD, and it's caused severe depersonalization/derealization (which I always have, but it's a lot worse due to constant stress/panic recently). But I have an absolutely awful fear that I'm developing schizophrenia or have a serious neurological issue. It all started with a lecture in my university about schizophrenia and ever since then I've been obsessing over the symptoms and wondering whether or not I could possibly develop it. Now, I'm somewhat coming down from that fear but it's moved on to whether or not I could have a serious neurological disorder :( I know that logically it's probably just extreme anxiety and hypochondria. I've had lots of other OCD fears in the past that have come and gone, including many health anxiety fears and harm fears, but I've gotten over them and don't remember struggling as much with them as I am now. I know I shouldn't look for reassurance since I already am constantly checking myself, my thoughts, with my therapist, and online about whether or not I'm going to "slip into psychosis", but do any of you guys ever experience these symptoms (especially when you're feeling super anxious/stressed)?
- really bad depersonalization/derealization
- a constant feeling of impending doom
- fear of loss of control
- insomnia
- loss of appetite
- hypersensitivity (to noise, smells, etc.)
- always on edge, startled easily
- sometimes deja vu-like feelings (not very often)
- agoraphobic type fears/fear of existence
- really bad lack of concentration/short term memory issues
- overactive imagination (usually imagining the worst cases scenario)
- randomly remembering a dream (from the night before, or the past)
- constant headaches, and pressure surrounding head
- feeling numb, and slowed down
- hyperawareness of self/thoughts
- and the one that scares me and annoys me the most at the moment- random words, phrases, songs, memories etc. popping into and repeating on a loop in my mind (especially when stressed, tired, etc.) It kind of feels like racing thoughts, but I think they might just be intrusive thoughts. It's hard to tell because I get so upset when I get them that they seem to come a lot more whenever I'm trying to NOT think about them. Usually I can distract myself from them, but the past few days they've seemed so unbearable and nonstop. :(

I've had all of these symptoms before and I've been able to get over them and get better, but I'm just feeling so defeated at the moment. I have let this fear completely debilitate me.
I've never tried any type of medication for anxiety or OCD, but I'm starting to think it might help me.
Have any of you had similar symptoms or fears?
Thanks so much. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bella33

Hi, recently I've had a REALLY bad spike in my anxiety and OCD, and it's caused severe depersonalization/derealization (which I always have, but it's a lot worse due to constant stress/panic recently). But I have an absolutely awful fear that I'm developing schizophrenia or have a serious neurological issue. It all started with a lecture in my university about schizophrenia and ever since then I've been obsessing over the symptoms and wondering whether or not I could possibly develop it. Now, I'm somewhat coming down from that fear but it's moved on to whether or not I could have a serious neurological disorder :( I know that logically it's probably just extreme anxiety and hypochondria. I've had lots of other OCD fears in the past that have come and gone, including many health anxiety fears and harm fears, but I've gotten over them and don't remember struggling as much with them as I am now. I know I shouldn't look for reassurance since I already am constantly checking myself, my thoughts, with my therapist, and online about whether or not I'm going to "slip into psychosis", but do any of you guys ever experience these symptoms (especially when you're feeling super anxious/stressed)?
- really bad depersonalization/derealization
- a constant feeling of impending doom
- fear of loss of control
- insomnia
- loss of appetite
- hypersensitivity (to noise, smells, etc.)
- always on edge, startled easily
- sometimes deja vu-like feelings (not very often)
- agoraphobic type fears/fear of existence
- really bad lack of concentration/short term memory issues
- overactive imagination (usually imagining the worst cases scenario)
- randomly remembering a dream (from the night before, or the past)
- constant headaches, and pressure surrounding head
- feeling numb, and slowed down
- hyperawareness of self/thoughts
- and the one that scares me and annoys me the most at the moment- random words, phrases, songs, memories etc. popping into and repeating on a loop in my mind (especially when stressed, tired, etc.) It kind of feels like racing thoughts, but I think they might just be intrusive thoughts. It's hard to tell because I get so upset when I get them that they seem to come a lot more whenever I'm trying to NOT think about them. Usually I can distract myself from them, but the past few days they've seemed so unbearable and nonstop. :(

I've had all of these symptoms before and I've been able to get over them and get better, but I'm just feeling so defeated at the moment. I have let this fear completely debilitate me.
I've never tried any type of medication for anxiety or OCD, but I'm starting to think it might help me.
Have any of you had similar symptoms or fears?
Thanks so much. :)

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I've been going though this the last 3 years after I felt like I was going to faint one time which turned out to be a panic attack and ever since then I've been going through the exact same thing, how did you get over it the first time ?

Hi Brad,
I'm sorry to hear you're going through the exact same thing. It really sucks :( but it does help to know we're not alone. And to be honest, I think the reason I was able to "get over it" the first time around was because I just tried to make myself as busy as possible to try to distract myself from it. I've been through a few different bad 'episodes' of fearing I have some type of bad physical illness/mental illness and usually they wouldn't last too long, but I think this time around I just googled WAY too much and have had too much alone time with my own thoughts. :/ Right now, I'm trying to arrange my schedule so that I'll be busier because to me that was pretty much the only thing that really helped. I experienced all of these symptoms previously but got over them and now they're back so it's almost kind of hard to imagine what it's like to be without them at the moment (if that makes sense). I've been especially tripped up on the random intrusive-type thoughts I've been getting this time too, but I think it could just be REALLY high stress, anxiety and insomnia. Do you experience a lot of the same symptoms as me?

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=209840