Take two! Hysterectomy scheduled February 2

Some of you probably remember my ordeal where I was meant to have a hysterectomy for my large fibroids back in July. I backed out at the literal last minute - like in pre-op! - because I was so scared and I was alone at the hospital because of Covid.

Well, I made it through the rest of the summer and the fall semester of school but my symptoms got worse. I got a new MRI that showed they'd continued to grow and my surgeon didn't think it wise to wait until summer. So, I took the semester off from school and they called the other day to schedule for February 2.

I am still having such a hard time wrapping my brain around doing this. I know I have to - I have a ton of fibroids from my cervix up past my belly button. My uterus is 27cm long (a normal uterus is usually 7-9cm long)! I also got a second opinion after the summer ordeal and found a wonderful surgeon at Johns Hopkins who says she can do it robotically with a small c-section incision to remove. My first doctor offered only a long vertical cut down my entire abdomen. So, that's a relief.

But. I'm really scared. I still have to go to the hospital alone and Covid is so much worse now than it was in the summer. I wasn't at all worried about catching Covid back then, but I'm a bit more worried about that now that numbers are so high and the new more easily transmitted version is starting to spread in the US.

My doctor is scheduling this as outpatient - but I also worry about that. I know a lot of my anxiety will be about post-op complications so leaving the same day makes me scared. The only other surgery I ever had was a really traumatic emergency with a lot of issues post-op, so it seems so weird to imagine being at home hours after having an organ removed.

I'm trying to stay positive and think of how much better my quality of life will be when this is over! But, it's so hard not to be scared. Rationally, I know it's right, but my anxiety can't let me even imagine that I can go through with it!

That sounds like a fantastic option to me, Erin. No radical surgery, just a minimal incision. I mean you will have to take it very easy after surgery but the less time you spend in hospital the better and this doctor is confident that this will be all you'll need. You're basing the "inevitable complications" theory on your last surgery but this time around it is planned and the groundwork has been done by the surgeon

You can cancel again and put up with the fibroids or go with this option and get on with your life and your studies. Yes you will be scared but if you allow your anxiety to win you will condemn yourself to months of more pain and distress because these fibroids are not going to shrink spontaneously.

Good for you Erin! This sounds like a much better option than the first and you definitely need to get all of that taken out. Think about how much weight you'll lose getting all those fibroids out ;) Time for shopping!

Thanks, ladies! I know I have to do it even though it sucks! And I am so pleased that I found a doctor I feel better about. In addition to the minimal approach she's just really lovely and has spent so much time talking to me and going over everything, unlike my last surgeon who spent all of 20 minutes talking to me before the surgery. I'll also have one more virtual visit with her beforehand to go over the consent forms, which my other surgeon didn't do either - he just came barreling into pre-op, handed me a clipboard without even sitting down, and asked me to sign. That was when I really panicked and ultimately decided to leave.

Sooo, I'm hoping all of these differences combined will make it easier to go through with it. I plan to send her a message through the portal to just tell her my worries and ask that I'm able to see the anesthesiologist beforehand to hopefully get something to help me calm down - none of this was offered to me before, but many women say they're able to do this. I don't, for example, want to walk into the OR and hop on the table. I don't think I could do that. So, I want to be sure they know I'd prefer something in the IV before heading in. I never felt comfortable talking to my other doctor about how scared I was because he was such a robot - a good surgeon - but not exactly touchy feely. I think being more open will help me deal with the feelings beforehand instead of just exploding with anxiety the day of.

And, Johns Hopkins is in the top 10 best hospitals in the world, so I'm extremely lucky to live just a few miles away from it and have access to such good care. There are many women who would give anything to get their surgery and be out of pain, and so I want to try and be grateful for this opportunity!

And, now I'm just rambling in stream of consciousness, haha. But it helps!

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Originally Posted by AntsyVee

Good for you Erin! This sounds like a much better option than the first and you definitely need to get all of that taken out. Think about how much weight you'll lose getting all those fibroids out ;) Time for shopping!

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I'm absolutely going to weigh myself before and after! I'm pretty sure at this point my uterus is the size of a 9 month pregnancy and I'm only 10 pounds below the weight I was at that point in my actual pregnancy. So, I can't wait to see how much I end up losing once all the swelling goes down! I'll also have to take a before and after picture of my fibroid belly.

I haven't worn anything but leggings all pandemic, but maybe I'll test out some of my old "hard pants" (as the internet is calling real pants these day)!

Yes, Erin! Surgery blows, but enjoy the perks of it, like weight loss and the fabulous drugs! Swimsuit season is coming up LOL

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Originally Posted by AntsyVee

Yes, Erin! Surgery blows, but enjoy the perks of it, like weight loss and the fabulous drugs! Swimsuit season is coming up LOL

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I am happy it will be now and that I should be completely healed by the spring/summer. I'm grossing my fingers that Covid improves by then, too, and maybe I can even have a vacation!