Relapse / full panic mode

Hello everyone! Another life-long emetophobe here....since the age of 9 and I'm now 60. Pretty severe phobia considering I didn't (won't) drink for fear of getting drunk. I always keep my distance from friends who are sick and am on high alert during flu season. However, I had this "magical" / wishful thinking, believing I was more or less immune to much of what causes stomach upsets since I had not had the terrifying experience since I was nine - until the age of 59! That's a lot of years!

I notice there are times in our lives when we are more vulnerable - for whatever reason - and that what was once a manageable fear on the sidelines, suddenly becomes all-consuming and unmanageable, seriously restricting life. Constantly on high alert - consciously and subconsciously, with exhausting single-mindedness.

I brought up four children and dealt with their illnesses fine, albeit with a manageable fear of catching a bug from them. But that never happened.

During a particularly stressful period in my life anxiety got the better of me. Anxiety and stress led to depression and panic attacks. And because of my phobia, the panic always focused on my stomach, making me think I had stomach cancer or something. I thought having an empty stomach would limit the possibility of having anything come up, so I only consumed watermelon and maybe some cheese for months. At 5'7" I weighed 90 pounds and most of my hair fell out. Antidepressants helped pull me out of that one and life got back to "normal" for a while.

Happened one more time until I made a decision and went through a very difficult major life change and was free of the pills, depression, panic and extreme phobia for over 18 years. That's why I'm hoping to make it out of this relapse.

Sorry for the long-winded post. Was having a major panic attack and wanted the comfort of being among others who would understand while writing to keep my mind off the horrible nausea and sensations. I also wanted to say how much I empathize with all the posts I read here and wish I could do something to ease the fear and pain.

All the best to everyone!

Wow that's amazing that you went so long without catching a bug!!! I had similar thoughts that I was immune to catching stomach bugs too as I went for age 8 to 22 without picking any up but then got two in the space of 7 months which caused my phobia and anxiety and IBS to get very very bad. I'm just wondering what helped you to get over the phobia and anxiety before this relapse? It really is all consuming when you're going through a bad patch and rules your life.
Hoping you can get over this relapse as soon as possible!!

Thanks Ro...I'm hoping I can get over it once more as well. I wish I knew exactly what made me get over it the first time because whatever it was, it provided a long, healthy break away from what I'm feeling now. Of course, I've always had avoidance behavior, but it wasn't this obsessive health anxiety. All I know is I'm really getting fed up and tired. Quality of life has taken a nose dive in the last year and I've had enough.