OCD about running into doors/getting hit in the face

So, I had jaw surgery about 2 and a half months ago. I had bad bouts of OCD leading up to the surgery, and now afterwards, it's taken on this new form. Long story short, it was a revision surgery, and my therapist has pointed out that I basically am dealing with PTSD. It's what set my OCD into overdrive. Having to go through a pretty brutal surgery for a second time sent me into a spiral. My OCD has manifested itself currently with the obsession that I am going to or have already run into a door... all day long, any door. Doors make me nervous: my front door, kitchen cabinet doors, bathroom cabinet doors, the refrigerator door, the doors to my washer and dryer, my car door... I'm constantly plagued with the worry that I'm going to get hit in the face and re-brake my bones and knock all the plates and screws holding everything together loose OR the worry that I already have and I'm just not remembering it correctly or in some dissociative state or because I was in a big hurry, I didn't stop and panic when I hit myself, only to start thinking about it and panicking later. For example, today, at the dry cleaners, as I was opening the glass entrance door, I looked back at my parked car. I immediately stopped and worried, "gosh, that door got close to my face. Did I just hit myself in the face? Hmmm.... my face feels a little funny. That must be because I hit myself in the face, but I was too embarrassed to do anything about it with the dry cleaning people watching me..." and then later today, I worried that the elevator door had hit me in the face... a little easier to get past that one since that's pretty impossible. I'm constantly checking to see how far away I am from doors, or I'll go back and retrace my steps to make sure there's no way I could have walked into a door wherever I am.

It's not just doors, even though that is my main/most overwhelming concern. I'm also extremely aware of where my knees are in relation to my face at all times now. Mainly because I'm so worried I'm going to knee myself in the face, either while putting on socks or shoes... like I'll bring my knee up too far and/or bend over into my knee and knock my lower jaw and chin out of place. That is what I'm currently worried about after putting on my socks tonight after my shower. I just can't shake it because I feel so unsure about whether or not I hit myself in the face with my knee. I'm sure that just sounds bizarre... like duh would know, but I just DON'T. My face is still numb in some areas, so I just don't trust that I'd feel the full force, and I'm just going to miss it.

Does anybody else suffer from OCD in a similar manner? I've found it leads to a lot of checking compulsions to see/measure how far away I am from objects at all times. Like I measure with the length of my arm to see how far away I am from doors or cabinets. I'm constantly checking to see how much clearance I have when passing one or being near one. Or I will walk through a door, and then go back and re-walk through the door to make sure that there's no way I could have walked into the door frame.

My OCD is a different theme but the checking behaviour and thought pattern is identical, if I were to allow myself to indulge them. There are still some small obsessive traits that I have that slip in without me catching them sometimes but I can almost always identify what’s a thought brought on by OCD or an organic one. I don’t know if it’s the same for you but they feel different? Also self doubt is a huge one with OCD, not being able to trust that you did or didn’t do something and therefore the checking comes out to play.
I don’t necessarily have any advice with the particular theme other than trust in yourself because you absolutely would know at the second if you walked into the door or got hit in the face with it. The more we indulge OCD the more power it ultimately has, it takes a lot of patience with yourself and time to sit with things that makes us uncomfortable, for example if you get the thought about a door, instead of going to check it, try rationalising that you are indeed fine and you definitely would of noticed if you hit yourself. I hope your healing continues well.

Positive vibes,

Mouse


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Originally Posted by Midnight-mouse

My OCD is a different theme but the checking behaviour and thought pattern is identical, if I were to allow myself to indulge them. There are still some small obsessive traits that I have that slip in without me catching them sometimes but I can almost always identify what’s a thought brought on by OCD or an organic one. I don’t know if it’s the same for you but they feel different? Also self doubt is a huge one with OCD, not being able to trust that you did or didn’t do something and therefore the checking comes out to play.
I don’t necessarily have any advice with the particular theme other than trust in yourself because you absolutely would know at the second if you walked into the door or got hit in the face with it. The more we indulge OCD the more power it ultimately has, it takes a lot of patience with yourself and time to sit with things that makes us uncomfortable, for example if you get the thought about a door, instead of going to check it, try rationalising that you are indeed fine and you definitely would of noticed if you hit yourself. I hope your healing continues well.

Positive vibes,

Mouse


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Yes, I think the trouble I have is indulging in the OCD thoughts. Like this morning, while eating a muffin, I thought, "uh oh, did I hit myself in the face with my hand while putting a piece of muffin in my mouth?" and then did the checking compulsion in front of the mirror, aka I sort of recreated the act of putting the muffin in my mouth with my hand close to my face to "measure" how far away it was... but then I sort of held the heel of my hand (does that have a name? haha) up to my chin area (lower jaw/chin area is held together with plates and screws) to see if that was a possible movement I could have made, which honestly, while I was eating my muffin, was not, but ironically, holding my hand up to my face that way to "check" made me more anxious because then I thought, "well, hello, you didn't hit yourself before, but you did just now by checking to see if you did! And you hit yourself hard while recreating the movement!" And I know it's bizarre, but in that instance, I don't know if or how hard I touched my face. So my brain goes on high alert and thinks that I've delivered a swift and solid hit to my face, and I can't decipher what is real/what actually happened. I've still got a lot of numbness in that area, so I can't really use residual pain as an indicator. It's so frustrating. I go through this multiple times a day, and I just worry that my brain cries wolf so much that I'm not going to take myself seriously if/when I actually get hit in the face, or that I already have and just got so confused that I ignored it.