At my wits end

I have been suffering with This Black cloud call depression for over a year been on loads of meds and ups and downs, My last panic attack ended me up in A+E and I was later admitted, as an out patient to parkwood in Blackpool they changed my meds to 45mg mirtazipine and I started going up and had a few downs. Then got the okay and put me back into primary care this was around May, I thought no problems, managed to sort out a lot of what I thought where my triggers, family, debts and work, didn't feel any better, but I carried on and slowly felt better. About 10 weeks ago had a big dip my anger and irritability was out of control, so they added sertraline 50mg and 10mg diazepam TABLETS until I ran out and they gave me another 28 diazepram, for emergency only. (currently taking 50mg Setrtraline 45mg mirtazipine and 10mg of diazepram when I'm bad) I started to go the gym twice a week, to help with the 3 stones I put on because of the meds, been 3 weeks this week, but I have nosed dived to bad thoughts etc so back to the doctor who told me not a lot I can do and to go back to primary care who told me they would contact the crisis team and get them to ring me. The crisis team asked what meds I'm on and asked I me loads of questions, and told me to start back on the diazepram 10mg a day until your primary care appointment on the 4th September. Feel so crap as you guys will imagine. is this normal for the NHS or not? :scared15: