Depression closing in - please help?
Pretty sure this is just a temporary blip, but... argh. Got the voices in my head telling me that I'm worthless and that I should kill myself; so much nonspecific guilt right now.
I'm doing all the sensible things - exercising and staying reasonably busy, and trying to eat healthily. I'm pushing myself a little, but not too much. It's getting so hard to chat to people, though, I can feel myself withdrawing and my usual hobbies aren't bringing me the same joy any more. I just want to cry right now, and I haven't cried at anything other than a sad movie for months, maybe years.
I don't want to contact the GP quite yet, in case it's just a blip. Any suggestions?
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
The number of people you've extended help to in this forum - myself included - makes you a good person. There is no way upon God's Earth that you, of all people, could be considered 'worthless' and in my opinion you should banish that thought from your head right now. The world needs a lot more people like you, BI; it would be the better for it.
I'm sure others will be along soon to offer you the help you've so freely offered us in the past. :hugs:
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
Have you checked the calendar? When I feel like this, a lot of times I'm either ovulating or about to start my period. I will get those thoughts too at that time. But then I look at my period tracker, and I'm like "Ohhh yeah. That's why."
If you do need to cry and just open the flood gates, just do it and get it over with. Put on a sad movie and get the box of tissues. It's better than sitting all day wondering if you're going to cry and trying to hold it back. Better to just let it out and move on. May I suggest the movies "Glory" or "Fried Green Tomatoes"?
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
When I feel depressed it's usually when my thoughts are stuck in a loop of self-hatred. Forcing myself to think of anything else that isn't how much I hate myself/my life can temporarily lift those feelings. Doing that consistently for several weeks usually gets me feeling normal again. Obviously my bouts of depression aren't clinical or serious, but take the advice if you want
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
Thanks so much for your kindness, everyone!
@Pamplemousse - that's so sweet of you to say. I try my hardest, although I do wish I was more tolerant.
@Vee Yeah, definitely on the second half of my cycle, and I think that's probably playing a part. Unfortunately I really hate it when films make me cry, but I'll probably head to the bedroom to listen to some sad songs later today.
@Wasdhu Thank you - I'm really doing my best, and I know time is a great healer.
Feeling a bit less wobbly this morning and I'm continuing to put self-care measures in place.
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
Oh lovely Blue, I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this. But I’m pleased you reached out.
For someone with so much empathy it’s only natural that you get a bit overloaded sometimes. I’m glad you feel a bit better today, but is there anything that you could do today that will be a little bit special?
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Re: Depression closing in - please help?
My parents are visiting on Monday, Scass, it'll be the first time I've seen them since October. We've booked a table at a nice country pub.
Today I'm just going to take it gently - will need to tidy the house a bit but I'm going to listen to my body and I'm really not planning on pushing myself. If I land up spending half the day in bed with a book or mobile games, so be it.
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
It’ll be lovely to see your parents.
I had a long list of things to do today but I’ve spent most of the morning on the sofa with my book.
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Re: Depression closing in - please help?
I'm so sorry that you are in distress, BI..
Maybe you are just exhausted mentally? It's been a very traumatic few months and now that the situation appears to be improving it's often the time when repressed feelings spill out?
Seeing your parents tomorrow will be an emotional experience-are you a bit worried about how they will be with you?
I hope you can take some time out for yourself today . It will help to put things in perspective and will rest your troubled mind.
Re: Depression closing in - please help?
Scass, that sounds like an awesome idea!
I had to write the fortnightly trivia for the site where I admin this morning, and then Mr. Iris wanted to go for a walk. Should really be tidying the flat right now but I'm sitting and beading for a bit instead.
Pulisa, I think you're probably right, my parents haven't been abusive for a good few years now but the anxiety's still there. I'm also a bit tense about the upcoming few weeks at work.