Bad job vs no job (sorry a bit of an epic)

Sorry all this is a long one.


This is a heavily shortened version of what has happened.
Had a few years of anxiety that I have to presume has been a horrible working environment. I have a well paid and seemingly good job but have had some issues with very poor management. My old boss used to get me on calls with up to 10 other colleagues and call me all sorts of useless. After a few months I ended up taking 3 months off (I was in a really bad place for a while) I then moved department to work with someone I knew and trusted. This went okay but recently have been put at risk of redundancy with a knew high level management team put in place. My boss managed to keep his job but when I interviewed for a new job (managing small team with very slightly different technical responsibilities) I was told I was unsuitable and not a leader even though I have been doing that for a couple of decades. I have been offered another role but it is slightly lower grade but with same money and same T&Cs. I was okay with this until today.
Saw my boss and just wanted to say I was disappointed but would happily take the job. He was fine but he seemed very edgy and said that the reason I wasnt a leader was that all of the other candidates had contacted the new (higher management team) introduced themselves and reported what they were working on and what they had accomplished. I was a bit confused as to me surely the new management should really introduce themselves and we would discuss our work.
After a few hours thinking about this I spoke to my colleague that went for the job and got it and asked how he had presented his introduction to the new leaders. He didn't know what I was talking about and said he hadn't written anything or even spoken to the new leaders. I thought this a bit odd and asked another person who went for the job and he had not had any comms with he new leaders.

This has left me worried that my boss is lying to me and that I cant trust him. If have to accept the new job by 10:00 AM 10/12/21 or take redundancy. The redundancy will keep me afloat for 8 months. If I stay I am not sure I can trust them not to engineer me being fired.

My concern is I have a relapse again and am not fit to find work.

Hello. I noticed no one has replied so I just wanted to write you a quick note to say hang on in there :blush:

I have been there will poor management. I think from an outsider perspective it is very easy to say to someone why would you leave? why wouldnt you stick it out and get a new job? But I think when mental health is involved it is NEVER that easy. Please please please do not beat yourself up about this. You have endured a lot for a very long period of time.

You just need to put yourself first. If you are feeling undervalued and you do not feel it is the right fit for you, you will find another employer that will be a great fit for you. As you say you have enough funds for 8 months. You will find something else.

Only you can decide whether you need to quit entirely or whether you can continue with the current job whilst looking for something else. Also, have you considered maybe going temporarily part time in order to put your mental health first? You would also have more time to job search. People go part time for all kinds of reasons, whether its due to child care commitment, carer commitments, going back to school, or just to have a better work life balance. Even dropping down to 4 days might help. It may be worth asking the question. I was trying to complete an online degree whilst working full time and it was too much for me and my mental health. Now I work 3 days and do uni 2 days. It works for me.

Please remember, change for everyone is stressful, even more so during a global pandemic and you will not be alone in the company in feeling the way you are feeling. Are there any other collagues going through a similar thing?

Thank you Anxietysufferer
The period was extended until the 11th of Jan and I have decided that I will leave. I was sent the results from the psychometric test from the interview and my two highest skills, based on my answers were:Leadership and Giving support. Not sure how I could have bettered that for the role I went for. I have had a look around and there is no shortage of work for my skill set and experience.
So unemployed for the first time ever in 33 years. It will be interesting.