Worsening anxiety and mental health in new home

Me, my husband and our cats recently lived in a bad area of town for almost 10 years. Where we stayed was hellish. Gang trouble, drug problems, violence and don't even get me started on noise trouble from neighbours. All those problems made my MH problems a lot worse and the council moved us recently after a lot of medical evidence.

We moved into our new flat a few weeks ago and it's lovely and it's in a quiet area. Polar opposite to where we stayed. The last block of flats we stayed in was 16 in a block, now it's 4 and we are at the top. Sound/noise has always been a huge trigger for me even as a child and I never realised just how badly sound insulated this block is. I can hear downstairs cough, go to the toilet, watch TV and the worst is when he has a certain friend over, I can hear word for word what she is saying. Hearing those living day noises is fine, it's more the fact that if I can hear them so clearly, they'll hear us even more clearly no doubt since we are on top.

This has led to increased anxiety. I shudder every time my husband speaks or walks because he's loud. I talk almost in a whisper constantly. I panic whenever my cats jump off of something onto the floor and make a noise. The worst is when the cats have their crazy hour in the early morning. I wake up in tears when I hear them because I'm worried it's going to disturb downstairs. I can never get back to sleep after it either so I'm not sleeping well.

All this has led to bad thoughts and actions. Mainly a relapse in my self harming and suicidal thoughts. Then I try and talk to my husband about it and one minute he's like "just chill out, all is fine" and then the next it's "it's your fault, you're the one that wanted to move". I loved my old flat, I just hated the area. Moving wasn't an easy choice for me but I had to. Now I feel like I have more anxiety however, just caused by different reasons than at the last house. I also have feelings of guilt and shame because my thoughts are telling me I'm a bad person because there's people out there waiting a lot longer for a council house and here's me with one and I'm moaning. These thoughts all loop round to bad actions against myself

We have carpets all over the flat and I'm thinking of getting more rugs to help with noise. Even considered ripping up the carpets and getting a soundproof underlay to block some of the noise but it's so expensive and I'd get myself in debt

I've tried talking to family about my sound worries and they say the flat is fine, the neighbour will be used to noise etc. I don't think they realise just how bad my anxiety about it all is at the moment. I took a bad breakdown at the start of the year and I can feel myself slipping back but feel like I won't be entitled to help now that I have a good home, so I shouldn't have anything to worry about now, in people's eyes.

Any advice would be great. I'm going to put an appt on with my doc too. Is it worth asking the council for permission or advice on sound insulation?

Thanks for reading. Take care everyone :hugs: