Pregnant and out of control

I'm 11 weeks pregnant...planned for pregnany but still such a shock to my system.
Had anxiety on/off for the last 10 years...the last\few years have been good, I stopped fighting my anxiety and took it in its stride.

Right now, my new husband has left me (or rather I told him to go, as he admitted that he says he's going to leave in hope I'll say 'just go' and he therefore doesn't feel so responsible) for the 3rd time since we found out I'm pregnant.
I feel so scared, insecure and alone. I know my behaviours have led to this, he has openly admitted to not being able to cope with my anxiety (which has escalated with pregnancy). My mood swings have been scarey to me.
I feel he brushes off my feelings as unimportant...he disagrees with them as they are not feelings he intends to make me feel, so therefore doesn't understand I have them.

I've seen my gp and someone on a mental health team...who was great and has referred me for more counselling. I also sought advice for my husband (with his agreement), as he gets quite down about not being able to make me happy.

Right now, I just don't know which way to turn. I don't know if I can bring a baby into this. I've been a single mum...was one for my sons' early years through to teenagers. I'm not sure I could do it again with little or no support.

Only one friend of mine knows I'm pregnant, we've kept it a secret due to my fears of something being wrong. I have absolutely no-one to talk to.

I have so much to get off my chest, I know I can contact someone from the mental health team tomorrow, but I need to talk about being pregnant too. We contacted relate for some counselling, although I feel my anxiety might hinder any pregress there. I feel I've lost all faith in my husband because he keeps leaving me alone.

Ms Nice,

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it lately. It sounds like you really have been through the mill of it. Pregnancy is difficult enough without having anxiety and marriage problems on top of it! Try to be easy with yourself and do try the counselling as talking to someone will help.
Im 34 weeks pregnant and really have been up and down with the anxiety. I have found that talking through my fears have helped me to cope.

With regard to your husband I think it is sometimes hard to understand what someone with anxiety is going through if you havnt experienced it yourself and he may feel frustrated that he can't do more to help. That is no excuse tho for putting you under more stress or disregarding your feelings. I hope that the counselling will be able to help you resolve your issues.

Please know that you are not alone though and with regard to the anxiety and being pregnant you will find plenty of support and help here. I have already in the short time that I have been posting. Take care of yourself. You will get through this and think of the beautiful little baby you'll have at the end of it :hugs:

MsNice,

I am also 8-9 weeks pregnant after having had my son 9 years ago and my daughter 8 years ago. Ive suffered from GAD and Panic Disorder for around 10-15 years on and off and am now finding myself in your position. Even though this baby was planned it only took us 2 weeks to fall and its all a bit of a shock as no particular effort was needed. My partner tries so hard to understand how i feel but ends up saying 'theres nothing else i can say, you dont believe me' which to me seems shrugging my feelings off. I want o much to be enjoying this pregnancy but im not doing a good job so far. My daughter passed away during surgery when she was 3 and my doctor thinks that being pregnant again has reminded me of my loss. All i know is that im back on the Citalopram and cant wait for them to kick in properly. Stay in touch of youd like

Jo x