Anxious and alone

My whole life, I have been the subject of people not liking me. I’ve never figured out why, even when I’ve asked. But people just don’t treat me well, and that’s an understatement, they’ve been viscous. Constant bullying in school, no one to talk to, even at my job it’s like that - not the bullying, but I’m always outside looking in. In turn, this has caused me to trust absolutely no one. People wonder why I am the way that I am, and it’s because of my past experience with literally everyone in my life treating me like a second class person. And the few people I do try talking to just don’t show any interest. I’m so sick of it, and I have been single for about 10 years now, and it’s so lonely, yeah 10 years. I do like my alone time, but I would like to spend some time with someone, but no one takes an interest. I’ve wondered what my purpose is here if I’ll always be alone, because it’s torture. Does anyone else know what this is like?

Okay, so, I'm going to get into so much trouble for saying this. I'm sorry if it comes across as harsh, but believe me, these are lessons I've had to learn the hard way.

If one person, or one group of people, treats you badly, the problem is them. If a few people or groups treat you badly, it's quite possibly also them. If it's everybody, though? That's when you need to take a good, hard look at yourself.

It could be that you've been traumatised by physical or emotional abuse, and that makes it hard to relate to people. That would be the time to find a good therapist and start working on yourself. To make a friend, you need to be a friend - what are the qualities that make you enjoyable to be around? Think about it - don't just use it as an excuse to beat yourself up. What qualities make you fun?

For that matter, what do you hope to gain from increased friendships? It could be that once you learn more, some of your needs can be met from within.

It's a really tough world out there, and we have to be tough to survive. I know you can do this, but as with all worthwhile things in life, it's going to take hard work.

Good luck!

I used to feel like this although I wasn't bullied, I tended to feel ignored a lot. I have felt invisible and very unpopular. As I've gotten older though I have learnt that a lot of the time my shyness came across as arrogance or being aloof. I've found that actually admitting to people that I was shy made people more empathetic towards me. People appreciate honesty and you being you. There will always be those who still don't like you but that's ok. Not everyone will. Just put yourself out there and be brave.

Oh it’s quite alright, I understand why it might seem like I haven’t even thought about looking at myself. But the bullying was constant at school, and that took an emotional toll on me. People singled me out whenever they had the chance. I will say that squandered any shred of trust I could put in someone in the future. However I will say I’m pretty sure I know why I was singled out, but I’d rather not say in writing. But I can’t imagine it’s the only reason, however I guess if someone had to be the lightning rod for jokes it was me. I do get a lot of comments about how people think I’m uptight or just am always mad. Like for example, people will only want to spend maybe at max 2 minutes on a conversation with me, but in the next breath they’ll go on and on with someone else about the same thing for an hour. And when I try to engage they’ll just give me a short answer. Then I get uptight, and they ask what’s wrong, and it’s a cycle that’s been going on forever. And I’m done being the person who has to always stick their hand out, it’s never in the reverse. However, thank you so much for responding! :)