A DIARY #1: Leukemia...

It's been a year since I had a major HA over leukemia. And, well I'm still here. Alive and well with a normal CBC. Thank God it was really just the anxiety episodes kicking.

But looking back, from where I first noticed I had these little, red dots on my arms and legs a.k.a. petechiae, it was a really sad time for me as my health anxiety is such a strong foe.

I had health anxiety episodes one after another. Like if I'm finished with this one malignant disease, I'll hop in (as if so willingly and easily) to another malignant disease.

It's hard to deal with, and I felt like I was locked in a room full of darkness, with no way out. But I'm seeing rays of light peeking from my room's window now. Maybe, one day, I'll even find the key and be free.

I'm not really, completely invincible to my health anxiety still. I still worry sometimes, especially when there's a new symptom that has emerged (which is likely just harmless). Or like, when I see posts in my social media about cancer patients, my HA just gets easily triggered by those. However, I try not too be overly worried anymore. I'd try to distract my thoughts with other things. (Just ~try~ though, oftentimes, I still end up googling, BUT I SEE TRYING AS A GOOD SIGN NONETHELESS.)

If anyone's been wondering, I still get the petechiae but it's become something I didn't bother anymore. So I just went on living my life.

This is actually really comforting for me to read! Am currently going through a lymphoma scare blah blah. And I’m so pleased your healthy and well. Health anxiety regally does suck

Hi

I know exactly what you mean.

I’m in the middle of being convinced I have bowel cancer this week.

I took a moment and listed all the illnesses I was dreadfully worried about and convinced I had over the last few years. I’m sure there are one or two that I’ve forgotten.

My list
vCJD
Leukaemia
Lymphoma
Brain tumour
MS
ALS
Hep C
primary sclerosing cholangitis
Wilson’s disease
Liver cancer
Leg Sarcoma
Heart problems
Lung cancer
Sinus cancer
Pancreatic cancer
Testicular cancer
Colon cancer

Crazy eh. I sometimes wonder what will be next!

Best wishes

The number of cancers in that list... same. XD Kidding, I probably self-diagnosed myself lesser diseases but that was still a nightmare for me! And you had even had more! Going through one after another HA, I know what you feel.

But seeing as you've "conquered" all of those, then the current "disease" you've been worrying about is just the health anxiety kicking.

Hi. Sorry I know this thread is old but I’m happy to hear you overcame that episode of health Anxiety. I’m suffering right now with a crippling fear of leukaemia. I’m tired (I’m not eating because of my anxiety so I guess that’s why) and I have body pain (I get this when I have a flare up). It all started when I found some bruises on my legs, normal bruises. I always have bruises, I genuinely think because I was feeling content with life my head had to find something new to worry about so I focused on Leukaemia. I know I’ll come out of this and sadly probably move onto something else soon but it’s nice to read stories of people overcoming thing x

Randomly visiting this thread after two years. For anyone of you viewing this right now, I’m glad to say alive and well. Thinking about it now, I really wasted a lot of time over nothing. And I wish I could have been more productive then but alas, HA is just tough to beat.

I still do get HA from time to time but it wasn’t as frequent as before. These past two years, I could probably count my HA episodes using only my ten fingers.

I hope this update message can assure someone out there. Hope all is well with you. Thank you very much!

Thanks for the update. The "Told Ya So Gang" is toasting a cold one ;) Seriously... glad all is well and you sound like you're doing well! Keep up the good work.

Positive thoughts

Fishmanpa! So very glad to see you here. You were one of the people who helped me overcome one of my major HA crises before.

I greatly appreciate your efforts in this community. I see you’ve been consistently active here as well. You’ve done so much for many people here and although you may not remember me, I wish more blessings upon you and that you get to live a good life.

Cheers to good health!