Right sided throat and ear ache, small but obvious lump/lymph node under jaw hinge

Hello,
Just looking for a bit of advice, or maybe a reality check, I guess.
In late February, over the course of 4 days, I developed an extremely sore throat on swallowing and my right tonsil swelled up very noticeably (the right side has always been a bit larger than the left, and still is, but only slightly.) I also had this weird horrible shooting pain in the inside right side, whenever I put food in my mouth, before chewing even, it only lasted about 5-10 seconds before going (until the next time I ate after a while.)
On the 4th day I looked in my throat and saw a large white spot behind the swollen tonsil, I thought it’s either a tonsil stone (had a few of these before, but usually on the front, not behind) or tonsillitis. Saw the practice nurse who confirmed it was a tonsil stone by getting rid of it! There was relief a couple of days later and it all cleared up.
However, about a week later and still ongoing, I have a weird ache, bruising pain in my throat/neck on the right hand side only. Not like a normal sore throat, more like inbetween the tissues between the inside of my throat and the skin, somewhere in there, very hard to explain! It is there everyday but not all day, and tends to happen if I look right, look down or bend down. It’s like a hot, pressing, bruise ache, almost like there could be a lump inside and the movement is pressing on it and causing the pain. I’m not sure if there is or not though, that’s just what my mind tells me! And occasional ear pain in the right side only.
I also have a noticeable lymph node about an inch below my jaw hinge bit, so about 2-3 inches below my ear I guess, in the place where my parents always used to feel when I had tonsillitis as a child. It’s been there for quite a while, I noticed it at least 6 months ago I would say, it could have always been there and I definitely knew it was there before this pain started. It did swell up 3 weeks ago, when I went back to the nurse who said my throat looked a bit red and put me on a weeks course of antibiotics. I thought that would be the end of all of this, but it hasn’t changed anything. The node has gone back to the size I think it’s been for ages, but it’s always there and weirdly seems bigger in the morning until I press on it a bit. I try to feel it lightly and it feels like it moves a little bit if I press firmer, it feels harder and less moveable. I’ve also had some nasty itching, mostly in the evening but I’ve had this before in 2019, badly for a few months on end that drove me crazy, worried it was lymphoma, when it was most likely anxiety. It burns under the skin, but moves around, sometimes it goes, and comes back in a different place. Sometimes it’s so deep in my tummy it’ll make my foot jump! But it doesn’t really concern me and seems to be improving.
I saw a different nurse again at my doctors surgery last week (it’s impossible to see an actual doctor, but any medical professional is better qualified than I, so I don’t mind) and he was considering an ent referral over the phone, but then asked me to come in to have bloods taken. He checked in my ears, my throat, temperature, etc and said there was nothing obvious. Felt around my neck, said it felt fine, I asked him to check the particular place where I feel the lump, he said it didn’t feel like a node at first, but then checked again and said it was (didn’t fill me with confidence I must admit, but it was the afternoon when it feels a bit smaller! So weird.) He took the bloods which came back today, all fine except he said I have antibodies for Epstein-Barr but no current infection, but it means I’ve had it in the past. He said he tested for this as I admitted to being a bit tired when he asked me last week.
Anyway, all in all, I’m worried this could be throat cancer from hpv as I’m only 34, or maybe because I smoked for 5 years from the age of 17 including when I wore metal and plastic braces for 2 years! Which I feel horrid about now. I quit when I found out I was expecting my first child at 22 and haven’t smoked ever since and never will. (I lost my dad to lung cancer in 2014, and grew up in a family where everyone smoked, my mum apparently used to smoke while giving me my bottle as a baby! I can’t put any blame on them, the dangers of smoking weren’t as known then, but I’m digressing now!)
The nurse said to try and put it out my head, if it continues over a few weeks or get worse, I can go back, but I do sometimes wonder if they think I’m making more of a fuss because I have known health anxiety and haven’t yet had any of the things I’ve worried about. So a crying wolf situation really... I’m sure that’s not the case, they are professionals and they have a duty of care and all.
I’m not one to be like “oh no, I’ve had a sore throat and snotty nose for a week, it must be cancer.” But my symptoms do match up with those I’ve googled in the past (I don’t Google anymore, but during my worse years after my dad died, I read a lot and unfortunately I can’t unread it and I have the memory of an elephant) so I’ve resigned myself to all of this not going away over the next few months and me getting myself into a flap about approaching the doctors again, where it will turn out to be nothing again (probably after being referred to an ent) or this time, I may be justified in my concern. I’m quite scared, upset and also feel a bit numb - I know this process so well, but my signs and symptoms are so specific, it’s so hard to not think the worst.
Trying to remain positive in that lockdown is beginning to ease here in the UK and summer is on the way, but it just feels like there’s a dark shadow following me and stopping me being as positive as I want to be.
I really wanted this to be short and to the point, and thought I had, but evidently no - that’s not my style!
Please help if you think you can.
Thank you.

The underlying fear here is cancer and that's a very common theme here. You have a history from childhood of tonsil issues based on your post but after all is said and done this applies....

Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.


​Positive thoughts

Thank you Fishmanpa, you’re always a stabilising and sensible voice, and I appreciate your time in replying.
You’re completely right, the underlying fear is cancer - it’s the at the heart of anything and everything I’m afraid of in life. I’m working on trying to change it, I’m speaking to a CBT therapist every 2 weeks (albeit by phone) and while there are some really useful practices, such as running a thought on, it’s hard to change the habit of a lifetime - and I’ve always worried about health, even as a kid when I realised that one day we will all die. Even my therapist admitted to me that we can try and change our habits to a point, but our natural personality has a big influence over us and that it’s ridiculously hard to change completely. But... I’m working on it.
My current situation is proof in a way, the nurse said to wait and see, and so this is what I must do. Rather than phoning in a couple of weeks (or more honestly, a week or less,) I’m going to leave it 5-6 weeks and see how I feel then. I know I’m going to worry about it daily as the pain comes on and off, but who knows - it may all fade away. If it gets worse, I know I can always go back, but if it stays the same and doesn’t progress in that time, it’s likely fine and maybe a bit of hyper-focussing on my part.
Again, thank you for your time in replying to me. I feel stupid worrying and wasting the time of a cancer survivor, and I’m truly sorry. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be this health anxiety as I know what a drain it is on myself, my family and the nhs. But I have to admit, it’s pretty hard when I get symptoms of things I’ve read about in my darkest times. I’m better than I used to be :)

Don't feel stupid worrying and you're not wasting my time. Your reply indicates the progress and this is just a blip. As long as you keep taking steps forward, that's the key. And yes, give it some time and keep in mind allergies are really bad this year which may prolong things clearing up.

Positive thoughts

I’m afraid I’m back, with pretty much the same symptoms, and some new ones!
Although I haven’t had the weird, hot, bruise-like ache feeling in the right side of my neck everyday like I was having (there’s been a a good stretch of days where it hasn’t been there, and then it comes back again,) I’ve had other things start up; like my voice going hoarse/raspy pretty much every day for the last 3-4 weeks, sometimes it hurts in my actual throat, but I try not to clear it or cough as I know that can aggravate the situation (can’t say I always manage not to, though. It’s almost like an instinct.) Sometimes I think it’s from post nasal drip, but other times my throat feels so so dry! Even after drinking lots of water.
I’ve also noticed when I swallow when lying down with my chin almost to my chest (reading position), it feels like there’s “something” there in the right side of my throat and occasionally it clicks when I swallow! It’s like a lump or like there’s less space there and once I’ve noticed it, I have to turn or sit up or it won’t go away. I can’t say it’s painful, just feels odd.
I’ve spoken to 2 doctors over the phone twice, one who is my primary doctor and the other who is new at my registered practice, who both say they don’t think it’s anything other than anxiety and to keep up with my CBT (which I am.) What kind of annoys me is that they haven’t seen me, they just say it’s been “thoroughly checked” and the blood tests are normal, so there’s not much else they can do. I’m thankful for the normal blood tests, but I don’t agree I’ve been thoroughly checked. I had a paramedic feel around my neck briefly, look at my throat with a key ring torch and take my blood. That’s it. I’m not saying he didn’t know what he was doing, but I don’t feel convinced that they can say it’s all nothing based on this quick 2 minute consultation! But they just won’t see me, which makes me feel like I can’t speak up about it any longer, and so the fact it hasn’t gone away, and my voice continues to be a bit hoarse on and off through the day, I feel upset and worried that something is going to be missed.
Still get the occasional earache too. Nothing has really changed.
My only consolation is that this has been going on since late February, March and hasn’t got a whole lot worse (despite the newer symptoms such as the voice.) so maybe it’s just my concentrating on it that’s keeping it going? Even though I wouldn’t say I’m thinking about it all day, the pain or the voice will just comes on and then it’s back in my head for the day. But the thing that worries me is I’ve read (I know, naughty me, but since my doctor didn’t seem to want to help me, I had a slip up with an old habit) that symptoms of the cancers I’m worried about can come and go, like a sore throat for a week that goes for a few days and then comes back... well that seems to be me!
I’m currently trying a 2 week course of Nexium, incase it’s acid reflux causing it but I’m on day 4 and nothing has changed so far. Also been taking antihistamines as I know allergy season is upon us, but again, no change. This was from advice I saw on this forum by the way, my doctor didn’t suggest anything.
I guess I’m just venting here, as it’s not going away and my doctor (who doesn’t seem to care) doesn’t think it’s anything - despite not seeing me, which gives me the only choice of waiting and seeing, which I hate doing as I’m a “need to know now!” kind of girl.
I’ve said to my husband that surely if it was anything to be really worried about, it would be getting noticeably worse? My birthday is in July; I think if things are the same then as they are now, maybe it’s not something sinister... but we’ll see. It is very hard to apply CBT teachings when you’re concerned about something. Which I understand is part of the learning process, but is cruel when you are legitimately worried and no one seems bothered.

This message is intended to myself, for the future...
I finally managed to get through to a doctor who recognises that, while I do have very active health anxiety(!), there comes a point where continued symptoms need investigating to be sure.
This feels so real this time, I can feel something at the right of my throat, I have ear pain, I have a hoarse voice.
I have an ENT appointment on Thursday. If all comes back fine - which I really hope it does but am honestly doubtful of, currently - I owe it to myself, my family and everyone else out there who tries to help people like me (it must be hard to get through to us, but at the same time, it’s hard to hear anything other than what your mind tells you,) to put a line under all this crap for good.
If all comes back ok, I am hurtling full force into my CBT appointments and intend to do some extra homework myself, to beat this worrying, life sucking, mental health issue I have had for far too long now (a good 20 years of life wasted!)
It’s hard for me to believe at the moment that it is nothing, but I am putting this here for me to reread if I get a clean bill of health, so if another issue crops up and tries to ruin my life after this episode concludes, I can see how the pattern goes. Sometimes after a problem is checked out, even when I was so worried at the time, it’s easy to forget just how worried and convinced it was something sinister I was.
So here I am saying that, right now, I am very worried and it would be hard to convince me otherwise, as I fully believe I am experiencing the symptoms of a throat cancer. If I am wrong, like my medical history has proven me to be many times in the past, here is proof that despite my certainty that this time “this is it”, I wasn’t right this time either.
Until Thursday...

:( im going through a sore throat and im so worried… the pain is less but still there after 5 days… im so worried its strep throat but i was just on antibiotics for 4 days. Feel like going to the doc tomorrow if i still hurt.

At a loss…


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Hi Letti! I have the same problem/sensation in my throat/neck/ear, and wanted to know how did you go after your appointment and since a year. I'm really scared what I can have and would be very happy to know if everything was ok with you and how you are going. Thank you very in advance.