Pregnancy and anxiety

Hi there,
I’m new to the group which I found by looking around other websites. I’m surprised this hasn’t been talked about more.

Anyway I joined as I found out at the weekend that I’m pregnant. Although it was a surprise we had been trying. It took us 2 years to conceive with our daughter and thought it would take much longer due to coming off the depo jab August 2018. I had a feeling that I was pregnant but didn’t do a test until my husband came back from a boys trip. As soon as I did the test and logged it into my app it told me I was due on my daughters birthday. I’m over that now as my aunt has a son and daughter on consecutive days and she copes.

But as soon as I found out I went into a panic attack and anxiety took over me. I have suffered from anxiety for the last 10/12 years and have had cbt and counselling over the years. I have a lot of ‘mum’ issues as my mum never really showed affection to me and we haven’t spoken for at least 8 years now. I have always tried to fill her hole but it made me worse. But counselling has helped me with that and I feel I am past it all. I’m not sure what I have panicked and I am really happy and so is my husband. I just don’t know how to get past this stage. I haven’t eaten proper food for 5 days. All I can do I slowly chew some things and drink lemonade. I have been sick with the anxiety which is just making it worse. I really need to pull myself together for my daughter so that I can do things with her but all I want to do I cry (or mindlessly watch tv or scroll through social media - which takes my mind off things) I’m now really worried how to get myself back to ‘normal’ as I am a teacher and will be started back to work in a week and half.
Sorry for the big ramble- it’s good to get it all off my chest.

Looking forward to chatting to you all.

Mummylove xx