So many problems......😔

Hi all

I am a long time member of NoMorePanic and have been here many times over the years with one thing and another

I have under active thyroid,fibromyalgia,ibs and I’m on Lanzoprozole for acid been on medications for all of that for quite some time

I suffer terrible with crippling anxiety 😔 mainly based around my health

I am 47 now and I am petrified of hospitals doctors any kind of test it’s not the actual test that worries me it’s the results I have been this way since my mam passed away suddenly from a Aortic Stenosis at just 62 years old this was nearly 12 years ago

My health anxiety is focused on my chest heart and anything to do with it but I am also petrified of cancer and of course the corona virus

I have had a terrible 4 weeks it all started when I trimmed the hedge in my front garden with an electric hedge trimmer it was a hot day I had just been for a walk with my son and I drank 2 cans of fizzy pop in quick succession

I ended up having a massive panic attack lasting about 30 mins it was horrendous and all I could think about was paramedics coming having to go hospital it was so horrible I haven’t been right since

I live with a permanent scared feeling either in my chest or my stomach turns I’ve developed panicky feelings when going out walking but I have forced myself to go and I am proud of myself for that my stomach feels constantly on edge I am probably going toilet every 3 days instead of every day as before I’m not really interested in food although I am eating I can sit and feel perfectly fine and then out of nowhere I can start feeling scared and panicky

I’ve had lots of little panic episodes since that Friday a month ago I have been wondering if my ibs is now the cause of my panicky feelings

I’ve had time off work for the first time ever with my anxiety I had been doing so well with it

I feel like I’ve let myself down and it’s awful

Can anyone relate?

Thank you

Yes could be me. I’m 45 female and been living with this hell for most of my life. For me personally, it stemmed from being sexually abused as a child by my father. It took me many years to learn this and understand the correlation of that trauma and how it relates to my anxiety.

I’m on medication and in counseling and was doing quite well until recently when I slammed into the wall of darkness. I can relate to what you’re saying. How you will be doing well and bam, it’s like a huge setback. Setbacks are quite normal with this affliction. Meds and therapy are great tools but not a cure all. What they do is help you reach months or years of remission. My first question would be are you on meds? Therapy? Etc.

I could go on and on about the physical symptoms that constantly plague me. Specifically my stomach which in this latest go around, has me constantly feeling like I have butterflies, churning, hunger pains, growling etc. it’s bothering me so much I made an appt with my gastro.

You are not alone. And that’s my point. Everything you wrote is so relatable. Even though it feels like it’s never going to be better, things will improve. It may take a bit but continue your walking and TRY to practice meditation. I wish you well.

Hi Scaredtoo

Thank you so much for your lovely reply

Today hasn’t been great I wake every morning with such high hopes and when I start feeling bad again it puts me on a downer

The thing I am most struggling with is this constant ache in my chest and back I suffer with my trapezius muscles and they are quite painful right now that’s like my upper back above my bra strap but it makes my chest hurt in the same place and that’s what scares me I always think it’s my heart

The doctor had a good listen to my heart on Monday and she checked my blood pressure and oxygen levels she said my heart rate is a little faster than she would expect to see but nothing she is concerned about she said the normal range is 70-100 bpm mine was 93-95 she said it was completely understandable with how I have been feeling I was really hoping after seeing her I would feel better and I do to a certain extent I just feel so fed up and exhausted with it

I am due to go back work Monday evening and I am worried about that too will I be able to complete the 2 shifts a week that I do without losing my mind 😩

I hate feeling this way I wish it would just ease now

Thanks again

Hello,
I’m sorry that you’re going through so much.
My Dad had the same thing as your Mum, and my health anxiety flared up again after he died a few years ago. I think that the basic rule of panic attacks is that if you fear them enough then they will come. You’ve been on walks so many times and been fine, and that’s what you need to keep telling yourself. Over and over until it sticks.
It’s good that your doctor gave you the all clear, if they weren’t concerned then you shouldn’t be either ok? It’s their job to know about medical issues not yours [emoji846]

I hope returning to work goes ok. Take lots of care & don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone has blips, we just need to help ourselves move on.


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Hi Scass

Thank you so much for your reply I apologise I have only just seen this I didn’t realise my thread has a page 2 🤣

The doc appt went well she checked my blood pressure heart rate oxygen levels and had a good listen to my chest and heart she told me my heart rate was a little higher than she would expect apparently normal is between 70-100 bpm and mine was 93-95 she said she was not at all concerned given how I had been feeling

I think on the whole I have felt better since the appt but I do still have some issues it is just that when I get the chest ache or panicky I don’t let it consume me and go into full on panic mode

Overall I feel sad like I don’t feel like I am happy right now and it feels like I never will be but I’m hoping that’s just the anxiety trying to keep its grip on me

I am due back at work Monday I am nervous I know I will feel better when I have completed both my shifts without panicking or coming home I am determined I will I think then I may feel like I am winning

I am sorry about your dad it is so difficult when they leave so suddenly it feels like everything turned to crap the day my mam died and the only thing that would make it better is if she was here which obviously can’t happen so that makes me feel like I will never be over this

My 3 grown daughters have offered to pay for councelling for me because the nhs waiting list is so long and I feel like there are people out there with worse problems than me that need it

I am hopeful things will get better I do feel like I need some help but I’m not sure what

Thanks again xx

Hi ScaredCaz

I felt so sad when I read your post, you have a lot to deal with.

I have some of the symptoms you mention, with the pains in chest, ribs and back. I think mine are all realted to digestive problems though.

That feeling like you will never be happy is a familiar one. But, the worst of it is, its because our brains wont let us be happy. I recently watched "After Life", and there was a scene in which someone said that id there is no after life, we might well all kill ourselves now. To which Ricky Gervais replied "thats ridiculous, you wouldn't turn a film off if you were enjoying it, just because you know its going to end eventually". Thats what I feel like I am doing to my life.

What lovely daughters you have, offering to pay for counselling. Do you think you will? Never think that your problems/anxiety are not worthy of attention, you deserve to get help

Take care

Inanna xx

Hi Inanna

Thank you so much for your reply

I too feel like my back and chest issues are due to digestive issues I have ibs my stomach has felt like a washing machine most of the time for the past 5 weeks

I get panicky before I need to poop (sorry for tmi) and then feel better after then when my body starts the process of digesting food again I don’t feel great again

I am also affected when my period is due which is something else I have to deal with and right now I am ovulating so I don’t feel good

I had panic attacks on my walk today my daughter pointed out it was Friday which was the day I first took Ill so maybe subconsciously I am aware of that

I have never felt this helpless I can’t look forward to anything it’s like this enemy in my head won’t let me

My daughter has emailed the therapist she had found so I guess I will be giving councelling a try I would do anything to even feel like I did before this flare up I still dealt with anxiety every day but I could manage it right now I feel I can’t

I really hope I find some relief from this I’m not sure where it will end

Thanks again xx

Hi scaredcaz

there is a link with ibs and oestrogen, so things can get worse at certain times of the month, just before a period is one of those times. My daughter suffers a lot with ibs, and has terrible digestive issues which are cyclical. She is also b12 deficient.

you should definitely give the counselling a go

Inanna xx

Hi all

Things are still not good for me 😔

I just don’t know what to do anymore I feel like I will never feel normal again

My period started 2 days ago and it’s early by a few days not exactly sure how many but no longer than a week makes me worry why 😔

Still have a constant scared feeling and I’m still constantly thinking about bad things happening ending up in hospital I find myself day dreaming about it

I dread going out for a walk didn’t go yday because of rain not sure about today yet

This is the worse I have ever suffered with this and I’m convinced I won’t get over it without a hospital visit the absolute last thing I want

I spoke to a therapist on the phone on weds she was nice she said the first thing she knows is how strong I am and after explaining everything she said she understood why I was where I am I wish I understood then maybe I could fix it

I just don’t feel like myself I feel like I’m watching myself go through this and can’t do anything about it 😔

Thanks guys I always feel better writing it down

Hello,
Sorry you’re having such a bad day, but I’m glad that writing it down helped. That’s a huge thing in cbt. I actually find it really hard to write it down, it’s like confronting a problem, and I’m a big avoider!
Can you try something else? I’m re-arranging my desk because my monitor keeps giving me a sore neck, it’s a small task but it’s hopefully going to improve things & will make me feel better.
I’m glad you spoke to a therapist.


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Hi ScaredCaz
I know exactly how you feel because I feel the same. I also have the panic feeling before a bowel movement and I'm also 47, so I'm putting a lot of what is happening down to perimenopause simply because I'm having loads of strange feelings. For the past couple of yearsmy bowel issues have been getting worse and I have a bad time every time I have to leave the house in case I need the toilet because when I do I feel awful for about 15-30 mins. This afternoon I have got a phone consultation with a homeopathic doctor, see if she has any suggestions.
Anyway, as you can see you're not alone. I find exercise (even though I don't feel like it) helps quite a bit.

Hi

Could admin please look at this thread for me? I can’t access page 2 I have tried logging out and back in but doesn’t seem to help

Thank you

Hi scaredcaz

how are you doing?

Inanna xx

Hi all

Still can’t access page 2 I have no idea if these messages are being posted Thank you to the people that have replied to my post sadly I can’t read them 😔