Back to square one 😒

Hi, so I'm here again after finally thinking I had made such a great recovery. I was on flux all of last year, had ups and downs and finally settled and started to feel normal again. So stupidity got the better of me and I stopped taking them 5 weeks ago. IV been ok for 5 weeks but yesterday started with the jittery anxious feelings I remember from the first time. Now today I feel just as anxious and a little on the edge. Its coming and going but I can tell my anxiety is coming back. The trouble is IV been off flux for 5 weeks aprox! I have a full pack downstairs and I feel I desperately need them again but I'm scared incase I get the horrible panic attacks I got when I first started them. I went through hell for the first 8/9 weeks on them. I can't believe I have to go through it again!? It's my own fault. Has anyone had a break on these then gone back on them? Can you tell me is it as bad second time round?
Thanks
Anxious..