Had your parents used to 'lie' to you in order to make you behave as children?

This morning I was thinking back to when I was a young child (from about 4-6 years old) and I vividly remember my mom warning me whenever we were inside certain shops and the like that if I played up or messed with anything in there, the man (or lady) who run the place would smack me really hard. She also used to make threats about having me carted off to the 'naughty boys' home' that was run by nasty men who whacked the kids in there with big sticks that they used the money to spend on instead of light bulbs!!

I know it may have been said in jest (and probably also out of desperation) at the time, and I forgive her now all these years later for scaring me witless at the time, but I am interested to know if anyone else on here was ever on the receiving end of such extreme warnings/threats from their parents as kids, and to whether they believe it was justified at the time, etc?

P. S, Please try not to turn this thread into a 'kids today'-bashing match.

Well yes, of course parents lie. Santa Clause, for example.

Oh l remember my mum always told me l would go to the nuns home if l was naughty and they would sort me out, at the time it was scary if l ever saw a nun l would hide, l understand why she would say it l was one of six looking back she must of been demented with us all xx


best wishes

Oh yes - "put up for fostering" is one I got.

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Originally Posted by MRS STRESS ED

Oh l remember my mum always told me l would go to the nuns home if l was naughty and they would sort me out, at the time it was scary if l ever saw a nun l would hide, l understand why she would say it l was one of six looking back she must of been demented with us all xx


best wishes

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I've read and heard a fair few horror stories about nuns abusing kids in their care from over the years, though probably less commonplace today with more stringent legislation in place concerning childcare.

Regarding the 'naughty boys' home' threats I mentioned in my opening post, by coincidence a number of children's homes in my county of Staffordshire (run by the County Council) were involved in the notorious 'Pindown' scandal of the mid-late 80s (approximately 1983-89), where a lot of kids with challenging behaviours placed in care were treated in extremely harsh and punitive ways (partly fuelled by the chronic austerity measures of that period) with those places often employing unscrupulous staff members with little to no formal qualifications on a 'first come first served' basis, and often being blasé about the dubious antics of the staff members concerned.

Another two corkers from my mom:

First, was when my younger brother was about 2-3 years old, the one day he was looking through a couple of children's books that my mom had borrowed from our local library for him and myself to read and she warned 'Don't you dare rip those books or the lady at the library will smack your bum'!!

Second, when I was about 7, one day I was standing on the settee in our living room (with no shoes or slippers on) and she suddenly came into the room and screamed at me 'If I ever catch you standing on the settee again I will take you to the police station'!!

I can't imagine a librarian actually physically chastising a young toddler for damaging books borrowed from there, more likely giving the parents the bill to pay for the damage.

Also had my mom literally carted me off down to our local nick over the settee incident, they would have probably told her to sort the problem out herself and to stop wasting police time over trivial things like that. And it's most certainly not the job of shopkeepers, etc to discipline little kids who misbehave within their establishments, but would (in the worst-case scenarios) probably just simply ask the whole family concerned to leave.

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Originally Posted by ankietyjoe

Well yes, of course parents lie. Santa Clause, for example.

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I don't really consider the Santa thing a big deal, it's been a remarkable thing of fantasy for kids the world over since time immemorial, though it obviously becomes far less significant beyond the age of 8, when most kids naturally stop believing in it and finally realise it's nothing more than just another fairy tale, same with the tooth fairy thing.

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Originally Posted by Lencoboy

I don't really consider the Santa thing a big deal, it's been a remarkable thing of fantasy for kids the world over since time immemorial, though it obviously becomes far less significant beyond the age of 8, when most kids naturally stop believing in it and finally realise it's nothing more than just another fairy tale, same with the tooth fairy thing.

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I wasn't suggesting it was a big deal, but it is technically a lie.

Your examples from your childhood however, bigger deal imo. There's a defined line between discipline and mild abuse.

As a parent, I get it. Using fear to elicit a disciplinary response is attractive after you've been worn down by the little buggers, but it's not a tactic I care to use. Actually, the exception being dangerous behaviour. If I ever catch them doing something really stupid, I will exaggerate the potential consequences if I feel the need.

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Originally Posted by ankietyjoe

I wasn't suggesting it was a big deal, but it is technically a lie.

Your examples from your childhood however, bigger deal imo. There's a defined line between discipline and mild abuse.

As a parent, I get it. Using fear to elicit a disciplinary response is attractive after you've been worn down by the little buggers, but it's not a tactic I care to use. Actually, the exception being dangerous behaviour. If I ever catch them doing something really stupid, I will exaggerate the potential consequences if I feel the need.

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My parents has never been full-on abusive nor malicious in any way, but they (especially my mom) were probably just going by the prevailing norms of the time, and no doubt due to the ways they might have been brought up themselves, though I agree that those methods of discipline might be considered mild abuse by today's standards, but I have no desire to shop my parents over it all these years later.

here's another one Lencoboy mum told me never to swallow my chewing gum because it would wrap around my heart 🤯 and die I wonder why l have extreme anxiety

l don't think my mum was thinking she was a stress head like me

best wishes xx

I've got to be so careful with what I say to my children in view of their ASD. The fear factor has the potential to do long term damage. I always remember when a playground assistant told my daughter she would cut her tongue off with scissors if she didn't stop talking...She's never forgotten that! This was at a special school too!

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Originally Posted by pulisa

I've got to be so careful with what I say to my children in view of their ASD. The fear factor has the potential to do long term damage. I always remember when a playground assistant told my daughter she would cut her tongue off with scissors if she didn't stop talking...She's never forgotten that! This was at a special school too!

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That was a totally stupid and irresponsible thing for the playground assistant at your daughter's school to say to her, even if it was in jest. Staff who work in schools and the like for people with disabilities should ultimately have far more sense, and if I was the school's headteacher I would woe betide that idiot person!!

Just out of interest, how long ago did that particular incident occur (I am not asking your daughter's age)?

Probably about 20 years ago..I know the person in question was severely reprimanded because I reported her to the head teacher. It was a school for autistic children and generally the staff were very knowledgeable about what you don't say..

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Originally Posted by pulisa

Probably about 20 years ago..I know the person in question was severely reprimanded because I reported her to the head teacher. It was a school for autistic children and generally the staff were very knowledgeable about what you don't say..

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That person must have been totally unsuitable for the job in an otherwise excellent school (by the sound of it), especially as she made inappropriate remarks like that, which had profound effects on your daughter for many years after.

At least the headteacher quite rightly gave that idiot staff member an ear-bending for her misdemeanour, though she should have been sacked IMO!!

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Originally Posted by MRS STRESS ED

here's another one Lencoboy mum told me never to swallow my chewing gum because it would wrap around my heart 🤯 and die I wonder why l have extreme anxiety

l don't think my mum was thinking she was a stress head like me

best wishes xx

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That's probably nothing more than a mythical 'old wives' tale'. Surely if chewing gum actually proved fatal if swallowed, it would have been banned many moons ago. And most certainly for sale to and for consumption by children.

Here a lot of us tell kids about La Llorona (your-oh-nuh). It's the myth of a wailing woman, who killed herself and her two children to get revenge on the man who raped her and forced her to be his wife or mistress. Supposedly she was an Aztec woman and the man who forced her to be his mistress ife was a Spaniard, and this happened in 17th century Mexico. Anyway, now she wanders cities looking for children to steal because she regrets killing her own children.

So when kids won't stop crying and go to bed, many parents say, "Be quiet or La Llorona will get you." LOL It also is a reason not to sneak out of your room and stay up late!

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Originally Posted by Lencoboy

That's probably nothing more than a mythical 'old wives' tale'. Surely if chewing gum actually proved fatal if swallowed, it would have been banned many moons ago. And most certainly for sale to and for consumption by children.

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oh yeah l agree with you just back then as a kid I wouldn't of known she was making it up 😁

best wishes xx

I just recently saw someone post something about how she just realized that her parents had always been lying to her about it being illegal to turn the dome light on in the car while driving. I have to google this and, in fact, it's not illegal in any states in the US. But, my parents 100% told us this as kids!

I don't remember any serious ones, but I remember a few years ago my mom telling my nephew the police would come if he didn't listen and I got so angry with her! I have a 6 year old and I never lie to her except like others said - Santa, etc... But, even with that I highly limit the extent of the lying. We don't have any wild stories or complex myths. When she asks me questions about Santa my answer is always - No one knows how it works! And I don't tell her Santa won't come if she's bad. We don't do the Elf on the Shelf either because it feels too much like a carefully crafted deception designed to manipulate kids into behaving.

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Originally Posted by ErinKC

I just recently saw someone post something about how she just realized that her parents had always been lying to her about it being illegal to turn the dome light on in the car while driving. I have to google this and, in fact, it's not illegal in any states in the US. But, my parents 100% told us this as kids!

I don't remember any serious ones, but I remember a few years ago my mom telling my nephew the police would come if he didn't listen and I got so angry with her! I have a 6 year old and I never lie to her except like others said - Santa, etc... But, even with that I highly limit the extent of the lying. We don't have any wild stories or complex myths. When she asks me questions about Santa my answer is always - No one knows how it works! And I don't tell her Santa won't come if she's bad. We don't do the Elf on the Shelf either because it feels too much like a carefully crafted deception designed to manipulate kids into behaving.

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I think parents warning little kids about police intervention for extremely trivial misdemeanours (like my mom did with me over the standing on the sofa incident) can be very damaging, not only emotionally for the kids themselves, but it is an insult to police officers, whom the kids might need help from one day if they happen to become victims of crime, and portraying them as 'bogeymen' is likely to stifle relations between the police and children even further, especially when the children concerned become teenagers.

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Originally Posted by ankietyjoe

Well yes, of course parents lie. Santa Clause, for example.

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https://yoursmiles.org/tsmile/no/t2604.gif

My mum never lied - the threat and the promise of disciplinary were real enough ... but I think in the 1960s and 1970s parents were generally allowed to discipline their kids in a proper way without the threat of social services ...

Common phrase that you used to hear from mums in the West Midlands at that time when their kids were playing up and 'making a show' in public was "If you don't stop whining I'll give you something to cry for"

Certainly worked for me and never did me any harm.

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Originally Posted by MRS STRESS ED

here's another one Lencoboy mum told me never to swallow my chewing gum because it would wrap around my heart 勞 and die I wonder why l have extreme anxiety

l don't think my mum was thinking she was a stress head like me

best wishes xx

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My older sister used to say the same thing to me about swallowing chewing gum "it will wind around your heart and you will die!" It put me off having chewing gum for several years. Looking back, I think it was probably because she didn't want me to take any of her chewing gum! Even when I was a few years older, I always used to be careful when having chewing gum or bubble gum, to make sure I didn't swallow any of it by accident!