A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
Hi, I'm Akira and I'm new here. If you want to know more about my backstory, you can vist my thread in the introduction section here.
The point of this thread is to log my activites related to my anxiety and the methods I've use to fight it. I hear talking about it helps, so why not. The goal is to ultemately have to reary use this thread, or not at all in times to come.
So how does my anxiety operate? Well it has this tendacy to make me worry about things that I didn't do, except I already did them. The thoughts of my Anxiety, or as I refer to it "fantasies" always like to make me worry about something. Often I overthink about how I didn't lock everywhere at night, I didn't close the pipes, I didn't check to see if everything was put away at night, I didn't close the door.
Other things include worrying about hypotheticals. It likes to create these scenarios in my head and make me worry about it. "What if someone asks you to eat something you don't want to because you're on a diet" "What if someone cuts your hair without you permission".
Often times when I have to deal with these thoughts I would do things to pander to it. Eg: I would double check and triple check if I locked up the place at night, if I worry about it I would tell myself of the contingancy plans incase my anxiety thoughts were right. With the hypotheticals I would constantly have to remind myself of reality and what I would do in these situations.
Thing is, I realise by doing this I was giving validation to my anxiety's thoughts. So about 3 weeks now I've been doing something new. Becuase It got to point where it was unbearable. I started refering to my anxiety's thoughts as fantasies, remind myself it is always wrong and I would find something to do or just repeat the word "distraction" over again so that I can ultimately forget about it. And this had been working great so far.
Also I use(?) to get trouble sleeping at night. I would always sleep and get up multiple times. Also my anxiety has this obsession with waking me up inbetween 6am - 6:45am, no matter what time I go to sleep. Always making me worry that if I go back to sleep now I wouldn't wake up in time to do everything. So I just lay there from 6am - 8am trying to go back to sleep and rarely I do. In order to combat this, about 3 weeks ago I started going to sleep at 11pm. I started telling myself when I go to sleep to not worry about the time, if any non anxiety thoughts come to mind, I just tell myself "I'll think about that tomorrow after I have slept, right now it's time to sleep. If any anxiety thoughts comes up I say the thing about them being fantasies again.
Now every night since I would wake up 4 times, refreshed, but using these methods made it easy for me to fall back to sleep.
Last night, however, it seems as though my anxiety found a way to spite me. Took the methods I use to fight it and made me worry about how I wasn't using them properly in the 1st place when my anxiety made me worry unnecessarily. Long story short, It was the 1st time I haven't slept good in 3 weeks. I only got a total of 4 hours sleep.
As a result, this morning, none of my cognitive methods were effective. As soon as I combat my anxiety, it would be relentless and come back again, even while I was doing something to distract myself. I was able to nap this evening, so I'm more in control now. I have decided to take about 12mg of Amitryptline every other night in order to combat this.
Incase you want to know, I have been on a diet for 9 years. Went from 200lbs to 120lbs. I am a skateboarder, so I get allot of exercise. I drink half a teaspoon of coffee in the day for breakfast and half a teaspoon of sugar free coco at night for dinner. On nights and sometimes days that I sleep, these do not affect me.
And no screens don't make me stay awake. When I was a kid, crt TV days, and I couldn't sleep TV would put me to sleep. Same thing here, can't sleep after waking up refreshed or my heart racing and overthinking after 3 hours of sleep at night, go on my PC and after an hour I would feel sleepy and sleep. This is because screens are stressers to the eyes, which is why I consider the whole UV keeping you awake thing BS and really just seems to be true through the power of suggestibility (like getting scared at a normal house because someone told you it was haunted). [Edit] Please don't spam me about this, I came here for help not a debate, which will drive me away from here.
Well that's most of what I have to write for now.
Re: A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
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Originally Posted by
akiratheviking
And no screens don't make me stay awake. When I was a kid, crt TV days, and I couldn't sleep TV would put me to sleep. Same thing here, can't sleep after waking up refreshed or my heart racing and overthinking after 3 hours of sleep at night, go on my PC and after an hour I would feel sleepy and sleep. This is because screens are stressers to the eyes, which is why I consider the whole UV keeping you awake thing BS and really just seems to be true through the power of suggestibility (like getting scared at a normal house because someone told you it was haunted).
I can't work out if you want people to respond or if this is just your place to dump?
The issue with using screens at night isn't so much that they will prevent you from sleeping, because a lot of people find they fall asleep when the TV is on. The problem is that the light which the screens emit interfere with sleep circadian rhythms which means that you can have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep so in your case it sounds like you have problems staying asleep?
We're supposed to live by the rising and setting of the sun for optimal sleep. There have been enough studies done on the effects of electric/blue light on sleep now. It's not BS!
If you were to go and camp out in the wild for a week with only a campfire light at night (and no electronics) your system would re-set itself..
I also think you're confusing 'feeling sleepy' with exhaustion..:shrug:
Re: A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
^ Anyone can respond, I don't mind. And I disagree TBH. I really just haven't felt that way about screens and know my waking up is due to overthinking or waking up prematuraly refreshed/racing heart and then overthinking due to anxiety. Before my anxiety got worse I use to actually go from my computer to my smart phone and still sleep from 8-10 hours straight. So sorry I never had the whole screen keeps me up thing.
Last night I took 6.25mg of Amitryptline to help with sleep. Only woke up 2 times and fell back alseep. This morning it has me feeling dazed though, so I guess I'll only take it on nights when I fail to sleep.
Re: A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
akiratheviking
^ Anyone can respond, I don't mind. And I disagree TBH. I really just haven't felt that way about screens and know my waking up is due to overthinking or waking up prematuraly refreshed/racing heart and then overthinking due to anxiety. Before my anxiety got worse I use to actually go from my computer to my smart phone and still sleep from 8-10 hours straight. So sorry I never had the whole screen keeps me up thing.
I used to be able to drink alcohol - several pints a night - and sleep like a baby. Now I can't drink alcohol at all.
I used to be able to eat cheese, citrus fruit, milk, coconut, chocolate, wheat, dried fruit etc - now I can't.
I used to be able to use any detergent, shampoo or conditioner - now I can't..
You may well have historically had 8 to 10 hours sleep after using your phone or PC but that isn't the case now is it? Also, that doesn't mean you've had 'restful' sleep - the kind where our bodies do the repair work.
My husband plays online games before he goes to sleep. He does it on the loo now as the light from his device was waking me up. He says he 'can't' sleep without doing this, but then complains about having a shit night's sleep! :whistles:
Staring at a screen stimulates the brain and a stimulated brain is not conducive for a good night's sleep..
I would be experimenting with not going on the electronics before bed (or during the night) for a few weeks before I started pumping chemicals into my body, but that's just my opinion.. :shrug:
Re: A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
Had an encounter with a Karen just now. So I was out walking my Dog and to the back of my street there are two houses with many dogs. The one that I have to pass 1st has 5 dogs and the other, I think 7. Anyways on my way back up the street, the Karen of the 1st house told me that I'm creating noise becuase of how her and her neighbors dogs bark when I pass with mine, to walk my dog before their house and go back because there are old people here that rest at that hour.
If she and her neighbor actually did cared abour the eldery or hate the noise they wouldn't have so many dogs period. So I walked away, utterly defeated but I've learned a long time ago that If I'm to survive I have to let things go.
And naturally my anxiety is in a fritz over the thing. Scared for no reason, angry that I didn't tell her off. Worring for no reason. My anxiety is using a fairly negative exchange and multiplying it. I'm trying to calm down by doing some breathing.
Re: A Log for my dealings with Anxiety.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
akiratheviking
Had an encounter with a Karen just now. So I was out walking my Dog and to the back of my street there are two houses with many dogs. The one that I have to pass 1st has 5 dogs and the other, I think 7. Anyways on my way back up the street, the Karen of the 1st house told me that I'm creating noise becuase of how her and her neighbors dogs bark when I pass with mine, to walk my dog before their house and go back because there are old people here that rest at that hour.
I really don't care for those 'Karen' memes. I personally know three Karen's and they're lovely human beings..
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So I walked away, utterly defeated but I've learned a long time ago that If I'm to survive I have to let things go.
I concur. Easier said than done though, eh?
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And naturally my anxiety is in a fritz over the thing. Scared for no reason, angry that I didn't tell her off.
Didn't or couldn't? My brain freezes in these type of situations. The words won't come. And if they did, it would be a case of 'word salad' (thank you Blue Iris :shades:)
Next time you encounter this lady - try and do a 'Riddikulus' (Harry Potter) on her? Imagine her wearing something silly and laugh at her. Or just smile like Jack Nicholson? People like that don't like it when you smile at them. This diffuses the situation or puts the shits up em. Either way it's a win..
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I'm trying to calm down by doing some breathing.
Excellent choice. Good to see people being proactive..
