Haven't left my house in months..

Hi there!

I've just registered to this forum and wanted to get some advice.
Like most people on here, I've had anxiety for a long time, but it's only started to get worst in the past year.

I'm a University student and had already skipped 1 year out because I was too afraid to start. Finally in September 2013 I enrolled and had enjoyed my first year.. second year has rolled around and I'm beyond failing now. :weep:

I used to have a part time job (I'd always worked ever since I was 15!). In the middle of 2014 I had a panic attack that I knew would stick in my memory for years. It damaged everything I worked towards and sent my straight back to square one. I quit my job. I was with a therapist who I also quit on in 2014 because of the same reason. I couldn't leave my house to see him and couldn't concentrate if I managed to get into his room.

I was forever going back to the doctors to get answers. I've been on Mirtazapine (as the doctor thought depression might've been the answer).. and now I'm on Propranolol (which I don't feel is making any difference).

But recently, since about October, I've become a recluse. Completely and utterly depending on my partner whenever I need to go outside. Even popping to the shops to get some milk has become somewhat of a challenge. University allowed me to work from home as I couldn't stay for more than 10 minutes without losing control of my anxiety. I'm living in a nightmare which I naively thought medication would help get me out of.

I have strange panic attack 'side effects' that I do such as pinching and scratching at my skin when it gets bad. I also use a wheat bag which you warm in the microwave and I'm very dependant on extra strong mints. All these things combined has created a person I don't recognise. My stomach is burnt as a result of continual use of the wheat bag, my chest and hands are scarred from the pinching, my mint intake is dangerously high and my food intake is dangerously low. My appetite has just abandoned me and I don't get excited for anything anymore.

I'm severely underweight and I feel so ugly and thin. My face is sunken in and my hipbones actually hurt when I wear jeans because they stick out so much.
I feel like someone completely different and I don't think I can take much more. Everyone around me puts more pressure on my shoulders, telling me to try something new to help me get out the house or to help me eat, which only sends me further into my anxiety. I'm running out of ideas now. :weep: :shrug:

Hi im so sorry your feeling like this, all your symptoms are typical of anxiety and panic disorder, I strongly suggest you go back to your Gp and explain everything to him, there are different meds out there you can try that will certainly help with your anxiety, I've been exactly where you are now 3 years ago and I honestly believed I would never get better but with the right help and meds I slowly made progress and up until a relapse a few weeks ago due to me suffering a miscarriage I was leading a 'normal' life. Please don't loose hope, get the professional help you need and things will improve XX

Hey, welcome to the forum. I'm also a university student and a year ago I ended up being scared to leave my house at all. So I understand it feels like your life is just pointless! It does feel like you're put under so much pressure to just get past it and act normal.

Like Nicola said, you should definitely go back to your GP, just because you've been doesn't mean you shouldn't go back. If it's still a problem, which it is, then get as much help and treatment until it improves. Imust have gone to my doctor almost every month because I wasn't getting any better, I saw a therapist and since I was still struggling a lot I got referred on to more intensive help. You don't need to live like this and there is definitely a way out :) I managed to make it through the year, with some major blips along the way but I achieved a lot more than I thought possible!